#614. Being brave.
Sep 9th by adminIn a few weeks the new Stuff Christians Like website is going to launch and I’m a little terrified. And not just in that way that I’m afraid of rollercoasters but pretend I’m not and come up with a lot of reasons that we probably shouldn’t ride Space Mountain today, look at those lines. Why don’t we go on Thunder Mountain at night so you can’t tell that I’m closing my eyes so I don’t see what’s coming around the bend even though my six year old daughter is sitting next to me with her eyes open. Not in that way, I mean genuinely terrified.
And the source of my nervousness?
I’m afraid to really try.
That’s a dumb sentence, and perhaps this is an illogical thing to fear given all the very real nightmares people face in their lives, but fear doesn’t really follow logic and that’s honestly the one in my head right now. I’ve got this weird belief that if I don’t really try, then I can’t really fail. I can always buy into the lie, “If I had tried, I probably could have done that.” But if I try, if I give it my all and my all isn’t enough, I’ll be crushed. It’s like never writing a book but always telling yourself you could have if you wanted to, you just didn’t have time or something came up or a million other excuses.
Paying someone to design a site, taking sponsors, admitting that I’m structuring significant chunks of my day to work on this as a ministry makes the whole thing feel “real” to me. I lose the fake security blanket of saying, “It’s just some ugly site on blogspot, it’s no big deal.”
Have you ever felt that way? Has there ever been some hope or dream that bubbles quietly inside but you’re afraid to admit it’s there? It’s a new career or a relationship you want to begin or some off the wall ministry that’s always been in your heart? Have you ever been afraid about putting your all into something?
What did you do? How did you deal with it? What happens when we’re afraid?
Those are the questions I’ve been asking God the last few weeks and it feels like the answer might be pretty simple:
Be as brave as a six year old.
Until a few weeks ago that idea didn’t make sense. I’ve never associated bravery with childhood, until the night before my daughter L.E. started kindergarten. We were sitting on her bed and I was trying to sell her hard on the idea. (“It will be awesome. So many friends and recess and gym!”) And in the midst of that conversation she bit her lip and admitted, “I’m a little nervous.” That’s all she said and then she turned her head and refused to look at me. She was doing her best to hold it together. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to fall apart the night before the big day.
It is a big day. She was going to change from a small three hours a day preschool at a church that she had attended for years to an 8AM-3PM day full of new people, new places and new experiences. She was going to get out of a car, walk inside a monstrous building, navigate her way through hundreds of kids that were bigger and older than her to a new classroom. And she was going to do it with limited life experience.
Think about how the age of the kid amplifies the size of the experience. When you and I change jobs, we have precedent to fall back on. We can say, “Wow, new job starts today. Fortunately I’ve had a few other jobs before. I have a decade of work under my belt, this won’t be so bad.” But for kids, there’s no history to fall back on. The first day of school is a gigantic adventure of colossal proportions.
Yet, she was brave.
In that moment, I felt like God challenged my understanding of who He made me to be. I’ve read verses about being more childlike all my life but never thought about what they’re really saying. In Matthew 18:3 for instance, Jesus says:”I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” What does it mean to become like little children? I think it might mean that we’re supposed to be as brave as a six year old.
I think it might mean we’re supposed to be as trusting as a six year old. They put their faith in God and their parents with an abandon that isn’t limited to logic or reason. They just trust.
I think it might mean that we’re supposed to be as creative as a six year old. Every kid comes onto the planet believing they’re an artist and often adulthood slowly chips away at that belief. Maybe I need to put aside my pursuit of perfection and just color.
I think it might mean that we’re supposed to be as curious as a six year old. A butterfly isn’t a bug, it’s a reason to yell and scream and point and maybe even jump really, really high. Kids step out into each day as a blank canvas, waiting and watching to see what new colors God brings into their life. Kids are curious.
I could go on with this list all day and there are certainly things I wouldn’t add to it. There is wisdom and maturity that comes with age. But it’s interesting to me that when Jesus wanted to make an example of how we’re supposed to live, he never said, “Grab that 112 year old man over there. If you want to enter the kingdom of heaven you gotta be like this dude right here.” He used kids as his example. We’re called to become like little children.
So today, I’m going to be as brave as a 6 year old.
How about you?
Comments
Everything that is worth is sort of scary because you have never doe it before…what if it is successful…how do you measure that success? Are you doing what God wants? Then, please Him…forget about the rest of us…BE OBEDIENT. If you are, you will be successful to the ONE that matters….everything else is gravy.
This is really great insight! I had this great idea to start my own blog and my husband is supportive and excited about it. often I have these great ideas but then I fail to follow through because I am SO afriad to fail!! Funny thing is I have a six year old son and he's not afriad of ANYTHING…gotta take some lessons from him and be brave!
Thanks!
this post saved me from abandoning ship.
thank you so much.
Wowza! This really relates!
My husband and I will be leaving for preview day at a seminary we are considering in two weeks. Up until this week, I have been excited, but now reality is setting in and I'm thinking about our class loads, making money stretch, and how our amazingly awesome one year old son will adjust.
You gave me that boost to keep on keeping on. Thanks!
Wow, thanks so much for giving this post today. It was my first day of university today and I read this just before leaving. Today I chose to be a six-year old and it really helped.
Ouf. This hits like a ton of bricks. I've been on a personal journey of hashing out dreams – and as a pragmatist through and through I feel as though I have lost the ability to really understand what dreaming is.
Being Brave is what happens when you have a dream – I'm a few steps behind you trying to figure how how to start moving forward.
Thanks for this Jon
Thanks for this, Jon. You made a comment about writing a book but always coming up with reasons not to. That's where I'm at right now. I've got this idea that I feel the Lord has given me. I haven't been able to get away from it for a few months now. I'm constantly thinking about it and writing down new ideas and thoughts. Yet, I haven't started writing any of the body…and I'm currently unemployed. So, I have nothing but time. I guess it is the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure.
Your thoughts have been such an encouragement to me over these last few months while struggling with the "to write or not to write" question. Thanks for that.
The book will be called "Stuff Believers in Christ Like". It's kinda like your site but totally different. I'm gonna have a blog where I post daily SBCL and have a book by the same title. Ok. This paragraph is a joke. You've been an inspiration but not to the extreme that I'm gonna rip off your idea.
Anyway, thanks again for another challenging post.
printed out and taped to my desk now, Jon. I've been living so trapped by fear the past few years – and I work with children, this is the reminder I needed.
OK, Jon, you could have just sent a personal email, but here I am outed in front of everyone! I submitted my book proposal once. It was a soft no, but still a no….so back in the bag it went. I've almost finished my website, but no one knows it exists.
It seems I need encouragement over and over….friends, recess, gym, etc. etc. Thanks for selling me hard on the idea even though I refuse to look you at you. I don't want to cry either…but the new venture is way harder than the 7 times in a row that I rode Space Mountain with my kids just to prove I'm a cool mom!
Thanks….
Sarah,
Thank you for having the courage to donate your marrow. A (brave!) little 7 year old girl from my church needs a marrow transplant and the medical team just started looking for her match last week. Maybe that's you. So many people are praying for her donor. So, this may be the closest I get to saying thanks. Your gift of life means the world to someone!
I'm scared to try ALL THE TIME. It's easier to pretend they don't matter to you rather than invest time, money, and energy into something and pray it doesn't fail.
Glad you are taking the step! My friend and I work in youth group and you crack us up with your youth group posts. And all your other ones.
Strength and sidehugs,
Rachel
Thanks for this! I needed to be reminded.
Cheers
Jo
I moved last week 1/2 way across the world by myself! It never occurred to me that it was a brave thing to do until someone told me. I'm blessed that God gave me an adventurer's spirit.
Great post, Jon!
I had an idea bubbling for years, but always looked at the "big" picture, the long journey, all at once. Finally took the first step. Surprisingly, that led to another. And, I know now that step will lead to another. Where it ends, only God knows, but I'll keep walking as long as He keeps leading.
My web-site has been up for 6 months now and it does get discouraging sometimes when you feel like no one is paying attention. But, God has always sent an encouragement to let me know I was on the right track.
Great stuff, Jon – thanks!
When I was a kid I KNEW that I was going to write 'the best book in the world'(which to my mind ranked alongside C.S. Lewis and Tolkien, only better). Somewhere along the way I learned to doubt what I once knew, and I still haven't written that book (or any other).
Thanks for that post, Jon, it was good.
Hrmmm… Do I respond or not?
I find myself further discouraged.
When I was a kid, everyone told me I was really smart and I should grow up and be a computer programmer guy. So I did… Spent over 10 years doing nearly every computer job you could think of. I wasn't happy, and realized that I was living someone else's dream.
Now I am almost 40, and have no dream to chase. I've been asking God for one for years. I don't have any clues of who I am or what I am supposed to do.
So I go to a job every day that is inconvenient and unfulfilling but pays the bills. I get to watch my kids chase big dreams. I get to read blogs like this where person after person has this wonderful clear direction from God and are thankful for a nudge to follow through…
And I feel completely left out.
Kelly @4:39. Remember, God's time is not our time and His ways are not our ways. Hang in there.
@Kelly
You are not the only one feeling that way. I did well in school, and I continued in school and figured I would get a job after I graduated. 16 months after graduation, I still don't have a job in my field, and I'm wondering if I'm supposed to be going in another direction entirely. Trouble is, I have no idea what it is, have no big dreams to follow, and feel completely at a loss. I wish I could give you some great advice, but maybe commiserating will help.
Before we get to bravery…
Jon said: "In Matthew 18:3 for instance, Jesus says:'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.' What does it mean to become like little children? I think it might mean that we’re supposed to be as brave as a six year old."
Actually, in the next verse of Matthew 18 we see; "Whoever humbles himself like this child…" So before we get to bravery we must as humble as a six year old.
Jesus used the small child for this illustration because the apostles constantly pestered Him as they were jockeying for position in this Kingdom He spoke of, wanting to know who would sit at His right and left and what the ranking system would be. What merit of their own would earn them the most favor???… A small child has no merit of their own: no achievements and merits, no status and title, no degree or diploma. They have nothing of themselves to earn favor with the Lord. And whatever "bravery" a child might have generally comes from the ignorance of not having yet learned the risks and consequences of many situations.
Conscious of our sin nature, understanding that all of our works of "righteousness" laid before Christ are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), when we are broken of ourselves, we may approach Jesus with the humility of a small child, not with bravery but in all fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12) because "the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love." ~Psalm 147:10-11
"At first there was the fear that this 'terrible storm' and 'awesome terrain' might claim your life. But then you found a refuge and gained the hope that you would be safe. But not everything in the feeling called fear vanished from your heart. Only the life-threatening part. There remained the trembling, the awe, the wonder, the feeling that you would never want to tangle with such a 'storm' or be the adversary of such a power." ~John Piper pg.198, The Pleasures of God
As anon @6:17 am quoted, "Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the absence of self" – Erwin McManus
In all the humility of a small child, not representing ourselves but the glory of God and His name we may step out into this world with great bravery.
i'm no help to you. i'm right there…im wondering if i'm dragging my feet or if there really are obstacles…..i don't think i'm dragging my feet but i certainly feel that twinge of failure covering me a bit.
Go for it PJ
Your new name is "confidence"
ALL rights of sonship
ChristianHaiku.com
Thanks for this post. I'm echoing so many who said that it was what they needed to read.
I've got a writing project in the works now and hadn't been getting much done on it recently — perfectionism and procrastination are old friends.
My moment of "being brave" was to admit that I needed help. Last night I asked my roommate for some help — to make sure I turned off my computer before she went to work today so that I wouldn't get distracted by email and blogs, etc. This morning I got several good hours of work done and I'm excited about it again!
WV: deold
def: what you have to get past to do the thing that's in your heart to do
Out with "deold" and in with de new!
I feel better about owning a kids' study bible now. It's aimed at ages 6-10. I like it cos it has pictures
PS: Jon, if by some…anti-miracle the new SCL website sucks and everybody wants the OLD blog back…we will sooooooooo still love you, and think you are cool. In an awesomely goofy kinda way.
It's a win-win situation
Of course, I very much doubt the new website will suck. In fact, I have high hopes that it will be quite the opposite.
WV: colyaw…coleslaw's cooler younger cousin
'scuse me, I gotta go pull the Flaming Sword O' Conviction outta my heart and get to work finally finishing writing that book I've been scared to finish writing…
Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]
Thanks for this, Jon. I spend all day with six-year-olds, and they are some of the most honest, compassionate, brave people that I know.
I have so much pride that I don't even want to admit that I'm afraid, even on here where no one knows me.
My husband & I are adopting, after 3 years (and counting) of dealing with infertility. I don't know why adoption scares me, but it does a little. It shouldn't. It's just new, like the 6-year-old at school. Parenthood in general should be scary, and it is, a little, but for some reason adoption scares me more. So I've been slacking on the steps in the adoption process, in fear. I needed this post to motivate me. Thank you!
Jon you write great stuff! A few weeks ago I was teaching my Grade One Sunday school class and it was on the passage where Jesus tells the disciples to be like children. I knew that my 6 and 7 year old friends were going to have a hard time understanding why adults are being told to trust like children… and sure enough they asked. I told them that people had broken promises to me and I had learned to doubt rather than trust. I asked if anyone had broken a promise to them yet, and the fortunate wonderful children had not had that terrible experience!
WOW! I really needed to hear this,God has been teaching me so much about trust in just this past month and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. I'm finding the more I grow in my love for Christ the more a challenge arises yet if it were easy why would we need a savior.
God is teaching me to be brave like a 6 year old also, to trust and to believe with all my heart that his plan is bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine
This post inspired me, which is to say that it loosened the knot in the pit of my stomach and made me feel like facing today as myself instead of being dragged through it and just surviving. There are so many tough moments we face right now, and mine are no worse than anyone else's – or if they are, God's making them that way for a reason I can't fathom.
Thank You.
This made me cry….still not sure why, but pretty sure it's a good cry.
thanks.
Not sure how to put this, but my 6 year old cries and throws fits every morning, because school is too long away from his parents. He also is upset before going to bed, because he knows what is coming the next day. Where is his bravery? What lesson is this supposed to teach me??