#605. Having a Doesn’t Count List
Aug 26th by adminI think every Christian has a “Doesn’t Count List” (DCL), a collection of small things we do that might not be completely in God’s will for our life, but they’re so tiny they don’t really matter. If you say you don’t have a DCL, apparently lying is one of the items on yours because that’s just what you did.
Here are some things I recently realized were on my Doesn’t Count List:
Speeding
God is completely cool with this. I know we’re supposed to honor the authority we’re placed under, but God is like the state troopers on this one when it comes to driving faster than the legal limit, “Under 5 you’re fine, Over 5 you’re mine.”
Using the internet at work for personal reasons
Come on, I’m reading www.biblegateway.com and listening to podcasts of sermons. Surely God’s OK with me using time that my company pays me for that? I mean people take smoke breaks all day and I don’t smoke so I’m owed a few minutes of Internet break time here and there. I know that no matter what we do, we’re supposed to do it for the glory of God, which means working hard at work, but let’s be honest, that verse was written before Youtube, and that site has everything.
Doing things you wouldn’t recommend that other Christians do
I caught myself in this one last weekend. A friend sent me a link to a lil’ Wayne remix of Jason Mraz’ song “I’m yours” and it was awesome. I listened to it four or five times to make sure it was clean and then was about to tweet it from my twitter account when I thought, “Is that Christian of me to share that link? I mean it’s lil Wayne. I better not, I don’t want to recommend that other Christians listen to that.” But me? I’m apparently impervious to all sorts of less than holy forms of media. Me? I can handle that. (The second problem in that scenario is that by editing what I tweet but still listening to that song, I create a “twitter Jon” and a “real Jon.” I’m not sure if other Christian bloggers struggle with the temptation to “holy up” how they present themselves online but that is some whackness I need to get under control.)
Hook ups
If you thought I was going to talk about making out, you should be ashamed of yourself. I’m talking about the hook ups friends and family members can get us at stores. For instance, a few weeks ago when I decided to buy a mac laptop, they had a deal where if you were a college kid you could get a free iPod touch with the purchase and a free printer. I seriously considered finding a neighborhood kid to go in with me so that I could get the deal. And although I didn’t take advantage of that discount which honestly did not really apply to me, I’ve done that a number of times in the past.
Those are all pretty silly I guess. You could easily read my Doesn’t Count List and think, “Everybody does that. We can’t be perfect, what’s the big deal?” And you’d be right, we can’t be perfect, but what I’ve found in my own life is that the DCL is never satisfied with staying small and insignificant. It’s a hungry little list. It always wants more of your life. It always wants you to add new things to it. To grow and stretch until it’s a mile long.
When I was in college, I got into an unhealthy dating relationship. We were mutually bad for each other and our combined brokenness only managed to amplify the hurt we were able to cause. When my girlfriend got into techno music, so did I. When my girlfriend started going to raves, so did I. When my girlfriend started doing ecstasy, so did I. How?
I put it on my Doesn’t Count List.
After having years of practice adding “small things” to it and justifying why some things don’t count in God’s eyes, it was surprisingly easy to rationalize ecstasy. As I’ve written about before, in my head I told myself, “Cocaine is a real drug because you have to snort it. Heroin is a real drug because you have to shoot it. Pot is a real drug because you have to smoke it. Ecstasy is just a pill, like aspirin. I’ve swallowed pills before, that’s not a dangerous drug. That’s just a pill.”
As stupid as that sounds, when you’re living in stupid land, stupid decisions and stupid logic make a surprising amount of sense. So I started doing ecstasy. But that wasn’t enough for the DCL. So eventually I smoked some pot. And finally, in one of the scariest nights of my life, I did some acid. I kept adding to my “Doesn’t Count List” until it choked out all the good and made my life not count.
As gross as that all was, the bigger issue might be what keeping a DCL reveals I believe about God. Apparently, in my heart, God is still up in heaven keeping a massive list of things that count and things that don’t count. He’s Santa Claus and I’m a kid trying to hide the pieces of a broken vase under my bed in the hope that they don’t count. Christ’s death must not have been enough, because in my mind, there are still two lists going.
Let’s lose the lists. It all counts. If we could have been saved by a list, God wouldn’t have sent His son, He would have just given us more paper and pens so we could keep better lists. It has to count or Christ’s life doesn’t count. The grace, the mercy, the deep, beating heartbeat of hope from Christ beats loudly because it does count. The gap between me and God was wide and dark. But it was crossed.
Not by me.
Not by my goodness.
Not by lists.
But by Christ.
Because it counts.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. I don’t think I’m the only one holding a list in my hand sometimes. How about you? Have you ever had a Doesn’t Count List? What’s on it?
Comments
@Anonymous,
I will pray for you. That's about the most Christ-like response I can muster after reading the venom you just posted.
From the snide way you kept referring to Jon as "Jonathan" to the not-so-constructive suggestion of starting a "Things Christians Hate" web site (which if you were running it, I assume #1 would be other Christians), that post just made my heart hurt for you.
I mean, Jon has now confessed to an addiction to pornography to using a schedule 1 narcotic (the same degree as heroin).
Stephy, regarding your kindly advice:
"For people who don't get you…hang in there."
Some people don't feel the need to construct their personal moralities on an organized religion, let alone Christianity. I appreciate that your sanctimonious arrogance (only your way, after all, works) might be preferable to the hateful vitriol (I will burn in hell, etc.) of some religious people, but it is infuriating nonetheless. And I also know that you probably think you are being charitable: you aren't condemning anyone; you are simply calling on us to "hang in there" until we figure out that you've been right all along, that your way is best, that Christ is the answer, etc.
Thank you for your concern. But as someone who is deeply distrustful of most organized religions, I will not "hang in there." I will live as I have thus far, guided by my own understanding of right and wrong. This has worked well for me; better, in fact, than the arbitrary restrictions of Christianity have worked for many people I know.
I am not saying you are wrong. In fact, seeing as you are so taken with Jon's post, it seems that your faith is really compatible with who you are (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually). That's great! At least have the common courtesy, then, to allow others the same chance at finding a meaningful path.
In other words, maybe you should add "pitying condescension in the guise of compassionate outreach" to your DCL.
10:33 anon-what are you "hoping" Jon will confess to? Just b/c he has not committed murder doesnt make his confessions (of fairly serious stuff, as Bennett pointed out) trivial or phony.
I think an item on many people's DCLs (at least from personal observation) is the method in which they obtain copywrited information. Download songs from someone else's iPod? Photocopy the Bible study workbook so that everyone can have a "free" copy? Buy cheap CDs in China while there on a short term missions trip? Wondering why God wont bless your finances?
I had never heard of you or your blog until today. I only landed here by "surfing" and saw a post about a conference/contest on a blog called "What Christians Like" and I thought I would "check that out" because it sounded quite interesting.
I read this (DCL) post, and instantly added your blog to my "reader".
I don't know what else you post, but if it's anything like this, please keep it up.
Anon at 10:33 – I think you might be misinterpreting Jon and the commenters. This post and the responses are not about "my way or the highway" legalistic Christianity. Rather, it is about the tendancy of everyone, not just Christians, to justify certain actions on a self made and thus arbitrary scale. We compare our actions with worse actions of others (ie: I speed but dont DUI; I have bulemia but it only affects me, etc). This blog has been cathartic for many people as Jon puts into words junk in his heart that many can relate to. It seems as though for many of his readers, his posts are a catalyst for course correction.
I hope this helps-I dont want to start a comment debate but I wanted to address your concerns.
Ouch – I'm pretty sure my speeding DCL is something like + 20ish…especially, if rushing to church. Oh – and I'm reading your blog at work (at least it's my lunch break).
Excellent post, Jon. I just told a friend this when I was about 1/3 finished reading this post: "can i just say that i thoroughly enjoy the blog, Stuff Christians Like – most days he makes me crack up, other days he hits me square between the eyes".
You managed to do both today. Thank you for keeping it real!
BTW – speeding is on my DCL – you caught me!
Here's to getting rid of the list and holding to what is true…
I justify watching a lot of unhelpful TV shows, such as Family Guy say, because I find them funny. That's some DCL material right there
I LOVE SERIOUS WEDNESDAYS! Yes, it's amazing how long the DCL can get — or how wide…but more than that..the truth is it's NOT about the lists. It all counts. And it's all covered by grace. And that's what takes my breath away. So loved this post, Jon. Great stuff. I'm throwing out my DCL. (and give us real Jon, not Twitter Jon. We can take it.)
I just wanted to thank you for your thought-provoking post, and to let you know I've linked to it from my blog: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/teabaglady.
I hope many come by to read your thoughts and to evaluate – and eliminate – their Doesn't Count List!
I think the third one doesn't fit the DCL. If listening to that particular Lil Wayne song is fine for you, there's no reason for you to have to hide it. It doesn't mean you have to twitter it (I think you should have more faith in everyone's ability to discern what is okay for them and what it isn't, but I appreciate the bible verse that tells us to abstain from things that tempt other people), but your immunity to lil Wayne (or whatever) is valid. Unless you're lying to yourself about how immune you are..
Maybe someone else pointed this out, but Tina (6:23), heroin isn't ingested through joints, nor can you take a puff. You can snort it, or inject it, or burn it on aluminum foil (I think, but I'd have to google it to make sure of that last one). Joints are soft drugs, heroin is hard drugs. Big difference. Soft drugs are no where near as addictive or harmful. And yes, although I live mostly in the Netherlands, I have never seen as much drugs done as in the States.
Gluttony, judgy mc judgerson, speeding, honesty, stealth selfishness, I'm a real winner. Thank God for grace!
Great convicting post. Gave me chills and reminded me that Christ died to rip up that list.
Jon, I hope the idea from this post ends up in your second book! Excellent. love the santa claus line
I've noticed a few folks asking about how to get rid of the DCL. If I may humbly suggest, that once the Spirit convicts you of something, repent – change your attitude about it – agree with God that it is sinful and wicked and caused Jesus to be crucified. Secondly, spend honest time with God. Our relationship with Him changes us. The DCL really comes from a broken and sinful heart. Only Christ can heal and clean and transform it.
ouch.
i didn't read all the comments, so this may have already been said, but in college i tried to justify downloading illegal mp3s and movies because i was just a poor college student.
good stuff jon!
Excellent
And why is it that stupid land is the only place that requires no passport (country) or ticket (happiest place on earth) it just lets everyone in!
@anon re vacationary v. missionary. Beyond the simple fact that you missed the entire point of that entire post, the proper way to handle this would be to1)identify yourself (when posting anonymously we tend to say things in ways we wouldn't normally), 2)email Jon with your concerns (no one likes trolling or complainers), 3)if you don't get satisfaction from 2), then move on, you know? Jon didn't say st missions are bad and no one should support them. He was saying that if you spend more time touring museums and cathedrals than you do working for Jesus, then don't call it a mission trip.
Oh, @Jon, add posting anonymously so you can be hateful and rude and tacky, but those who "know" you and think you're super spiritual won't know you really are hateful and rue and tacky.
I found your blog through a friend. I've only read this post, but I am intrigued enough to read more. I always appreciate people who are real and honest about who they are and their relationship with God. I totally have a DCL and recently the small things have gotten to a some-what OOC (out of control) size. Thanks for sharing.
And @anon against "organized religion," aren't you absolutely ecstatic that when you stand before God, you'll only have to answer for you?!?! I mean, what a group, eh? Most admittedly break the law daily and steal from their employers and lie! I'm a bit worried that some are my neighbors, you know? Phew. If all I have to answer for is me, well, frankly, that's pretty sucktacular all by itself! So very glad I already have an Advocate to answer for me and defend my case!
-Karen
Wow, God's hard on you!! He lets me do 10 over before I have to count it.
Thank you for being REAL! So refreshing!!!!!!!
Great post, Jon. On my DCL – thoughts. I know Jesus said that inward inclinations are as bad as the outward manifestations of those desires, but it just doesn't seem like it. I give myself major points if I'm cursing someone in my head, but am able to smile and act as though nothing's wrong. That's not hypocrisy at all; no, that's self-editing! God likes that. Right?
Janet @ 9:21 – very well said! Maybe your explanation will help those that don't "get" Jon.
Oh, and Jon… you Rik Rok!
My current favorite one on the DCL list is junk food. We Christians can be as overweight as we want, risking heart disease, but how dare the infidels let something unhealthy like cigarettes touch their lips and risk lung cancer.
Absolutely dead on post! People tend to overlook or dismiss all those "little things" we do as not all that big a deal.
Burning copies of CDs.
Great post on the Stuff of Christians.
thanks for this.
wv (no kidding): boring: the antithesis of Jon's posts on SCL
Eating too much doesn't count….
Plus ça change…
I can (vaguely) recall a SS class 25 years ago where I pointed out the common nature of your #1 while we were discussing Romans 13. I asked the question, "How many Christians use radar detectors in their cars to avoid getting caught breaking the law?"
During the following worship service, a deacon who'd been in the SS class brought forward his radar detector and made confession that he'd been using it to circumvent the law and that he now admitted his intent and use of it was wrong.
After the service, he reinstalled it in his car and continued to drive with his same, usual, lead foot.
…plus c'est la même chose
Ouch! Got to wear steel-toed shoes around you all. Thx Jon for speaking the Word.
wv awarde Jon deserves an award.
I have a long DCL list, but I'm pretty sure we're only allowed to have a certain number of "doesn't-count" items at a time. I rotate mine so I can make sure I give them all equal attention. This week we have personal time on the internet at work, illegal music downloading, and white lies. Next week's rotation will include (subject to change) speeding, watching inappropriate tv shows, letting a few grey (read "bad") words fly, and more personal time on the internet at work (let's face it, that one appears on every week's list).
On a side note, I brought up speeding as being inappropriate at a small group meeting once. I have never heard such a flood of reasons why it's ok (only most of them came from my own mouth).
Great post, Jon. Thanks.
Tom Inister
hehe free at last my best friend still laughs about the day I called her "Pharisee!" during an argument.
Downloading illegal music was on my DCL list, until I gave it up at a retreat. That lasted a couple years until I tried living on a student income and it slowly crept back in.
Wow. That is so true. Thanks for explaining to me (again) why sin is bad. Easy concept, right? Yet I still don't get it. By disregarding sin, we disregard Christ and His death for us.
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure legalism is on my DCL. So like you said, it's not about lists, it's about God's power to overcome the sin in me.
Thanks for these honest thoughts, Jon. It's true, we all do this. And the moment I almost said, "I totally don't have a list", I realized I did and DO and actively add to it every year.
I always appreciate what you have to say.
Stupid Land. Traveled there extensively. Hot, humid and full of mosquitoes, funky flus and travel advisories, but still seem to end up there a lot. Fortunately, never stayed long enough to establish residency.
Hey, great post, great concept! Definitely a good way to look at how sin creeps into our lives and how the devil slips little lies into our minds. Here's few I've thought of..
Flirting… "replacement" cuss words and phrases… watching R-rated movies because they are technically not porn… listening to music with awful messages and justifying that you don't pay attention to the lyrics, you just like the beat…
I love Serious Wednesdays- even when I read them on Saturday!
They always challenge me and make me think.
I'd say my DCL includes trying to always be right (and being grumpy when it turns out I'm wrong), not speaking up for my beliefs, and holding onto things that should be let go.
Jon, thanks for letting God use you mightily! Keep it up!
I did it!
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