How to get your name in the Stuff Christians Like book.
May 22nd by JonWant to get a shout out in the Stuff Christians Like book? It’s easy. Write a word definition for the definitive online Stuff Christians Like Dictionary.
The person that writes the most definitions and the person that writes the best definition as decided by readers will get mentioned in the acknowledgements or “ac-awesomements” section of the book.
Here are a few other reasons why I think we should write this dictionary:
1. New readers email me and ask “what is a leg drop” or “what’s the deal with Razzle Dazzle?” I think a dictionary would be a kind thing for us to create.
2. You already write really funny definitions of the words blogger.com makes you put in for the comments verification.
3. A link to your blog will be posted with the definitions you write so it’s a great way to introduce people to your own site and writing style.
4. I think it would be funny.
Does that sound cool to you?
If it does, then pick a phrase from this site and write a definition. Or share a phrase you came up with after reading a post. Often, the ideas you guys have are funnier than the original post and not everyone gets to see them because folks might not read the comments. It doesn’t have to be hilarious or serious or hilserious, just write it how you want to write it. Add your definitions via comments in this post.
Each one should have three parts: The definition, the post it came from and a use in a sentence. And don’t worry if someone already covered the word you wanted to cover. I think duplicate definitions are fine.
Here is an example of one I did:
Middle finger of grammar
Origin:
From the post, “Being afraid to use our gifts.”
Definition:
When you’re tired of putting satan “on notice” and you really want to make him mad, it’s best to lowercase his name which, in some circles, is known as the middle finger of grammar. OK, it’s only known in the SCL circle, but ours is a perfectly fine circle indeed.
Example: “Yeah, I know satan should be capitalized, but what can I say, I’m a big fan of the middle finger of grammar.”
Here are a few phrases to help get you started:
Dumb Thumbs
WOTAM
Sin Synonyms
Facebook friend suggesting Jesus
TOC Shofar Horn
Mangkade
SAKV – Swiss Army Knife Volunteer
Mid Bible Study Interruption
Worship Leader Mini Sermon
Sympathy Scoop
Let’s sumbit comment definitions on this post until June 22nd and then I’ll pull the 10 best definitions together and have everyone vote on which one is the most wicked awesome. Then I will put them all together in one massively awesome dictionary post on this site that gives the credit where the credit is due–you. (Which will happen because people will probably say your definitions are so so def. Get it? “Def” as in definition? See that’s not funny. Now all you have to do if you get writer’s block about trying to be funny with your definition is remember I wrote that.)
So what do you think?
Want a chance to get your name on a bookshelf forever?
Want to get your blog some love on Stuff Christians Like?
Want to be so, so def?
Comments
Bootleg cookies
From #5 bootleg cookies
Just like oreos. Only they cost a quarter of the price…and have a weird texture….and are made in China….and don't taste very good. They are a commonly spotted at Vacation Bible School.
Example: I got excited for a moment there and thought it was really Oreos. Alas it is only bootleg cookies.
Sin Synonyms
#494. Sin Synonyms – Pretty ways to say an ugly word
While we know that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet Christians often believe that a sin by any other name would be less serious. Sin Synonyms are creative ways of disguising bad actions with positive words.
Example: You did WHAT? Better start working on some Sin Synonyms before people start asking you about it.
Sidehug
#106. The side hug.
More sanctified than a normal hug, a sidehug a way of expressing care without the dreaded body to body contact. It is especially popular between members of the opposite gender.
Example: Sidehugs only please, i need my personal space.
Scripture Sipper
from #231. Drinking coffee in church.
Everyone knows Christians are often addicted to coffee. Unfortunately some people don't approve of taking coffee into Church. The scripture sipper solves this problem by disguising a coffee flask as a bible.
Example: "That's a cool looking bible! Is it an ESV?" "No, it's a scripture sipper
Mangkade
From #530. Buying a new bible. (The 9 easy questions you need to ask yourself.)
Mangkade brings the divergent worlds of Manga cartoons and Thomas Kinkade paintings together for the noble task of bible illustrating. It is a sensible partnering because everyone knows Jesus enjoyed karate kicking zombies in quiet meadows when he had a day off.
Example: Have you seen the new Mangkade bible? the devil gets karate chopped pretty hard!
God-dar
From #242. Developing highly sensitive "God-dar" (or how to spot a famous Christian)
Leave the gaydar to the heathens, real believers have a God-dar. The God-dar is the instinctive ability some Christians have to be able to determine if a celebrity is really a Christian on the basis of subtle clues most would miss.
Example: As soon as he appeared on TV, my God-dar lit right up
I must harken back to old school SCL and one of my first comments ever:
The Scripture Sipper:
Tired of marginalizing your spiritual integrity by drinking coffee in the church sanctuary? You know you've done it; condemnation sliding down your esophagus with every guilt laced sip. Fear not for there is a solution for you: The Scripture Sipper Bible. Now you can have your steamy beverage in church without the flames of hell licking your Pumas. This completely functional Bible has a hallowed out thermos core for coffee. There's also a zippered pocket for biscotti.Best of all, we've included a bendy straw that's 24 inches long so you can hold your Bible in your lap and read along while delivering frothy carmel half caff deliciousness straight to your pie hole. Ahhhhhhh. The Scripture Sipper. That's one more thing you can cross off your Repentance List.
Example: Every time the pastor said the word "sex" from the pulpit I spewed forth a mouthfull of Joe on those around me. I nearly had my highlighter revoked. But thanks to the Scripture Sipper Bible I endured a series on the Song of Solomon without incident. Oh, beloved Scripture Sipper, what would I be without you?
Pot Blessing
From #182. Saying "pot blessings" instead of "pot lucks."
Christians love sharing food. What they don't like is the idea of luck- it sounds too heathen. So that these two do not meet Christians have Pot Blessings instead of Pot Lucks. Whether the contents of said pots is actually a blessing is debatable on many occasions.
Example: I feel really sick today. That pot blessing certainly wasn't a blessing for me.