#490. Giving people the easy stuff.
Feb 11th by JonBefore I met my wife, I stored my money in empty Midori bottles instead of a savings account. (Feel free to read that sentence again because it’s a doozy.) After graduating from college, while at my second “real job,” I decided that the best long term financial plan for me was probably to cash my check in dimes, unroll the dimes and then place them inside sticky, empty bottles of Midori liquor.
I was like some sort of suburban pirate, living with my parents, storing my hard earned booty in bottles. I was what the ladies call “a real catch.”
A decade later, I’ve grown up a little. I now have a savings account and direct deposit and a dozen other little things that are slightly more sophisticated than my bottle financial plan. And I don’t think about money much now. It’s not that we’re rolling in cake, we just know where it’s going, we’ve done the Dave Ramsey thing, and have discovered how to spend less than we make. Revolutionary idea, right? Our money automatically goes where it’s supposed to go without me getting that involved. Including our tithe check. That one marches off to a few different places each month and I can cross the word “generous” off my Christian to do list.
One of the places we give to is an orphanage my Uncle helped start in Kenya. They have over 300 students, many of which were orphaned by the AIDS epidemic or who themselves suffer with the disease. It’s an amazing place and I am genuinely happy that we are able to sponsor six different kids right now. But I realized during a conversation in my small group the other night that I’m giving all those kids something that doesn’t really matter to me. I’m not sacrificing to give them anything. I’m not really even changing my life all that much to create room for them in my heart. I’m giving them a check my wife writes, with an asset I don’t think about that often, money.
The asset I care most about, the one that is my most precious resource right now, the one I covet most desperately? That one I am hoarding for myself. That one I don’t even give them a scrap of. That one is just for me.
That one is time.
I could probably fill a suitcase with the amount of letters the six kids in Kenya have written me and my family. That’s like a small basketball team and they are able to generate quite a lot of mail. But do you know how many times I’ve written them? Zero. Sure, I give them money, and occasionally if I bring the mail in that day and see a letter from them, I will think to myself, “Oh yeah Africa. We’re so kind to give them money.” And then I’ll go right back to living my life without giving them a second of thought for another month.
The kids know too. They are well aware that I am not writing them letters. One of them wrote us a few months ago and said something like, “I pray that God will give you the strength to write me a letter.” Ouch.
The worst part is that I can’t claim I don’t like to write. I love to write. I’ve written the equivalent of a 1,000 page book on my blogs in the last year. But I haven’t written those kids, because I’m not generous with my time. I get the small hit of feeling good about myself because I’ve given money, but meanwhile have really kept the resource I care about most to myself.
And on top of that, I can’t even act like the Bible doesn’t address stuff like this head on. I mean it would be nice if I could pretend this issue was fuzzy and gray, but it’s not.
In 2 Samuel 24, David wants to build an altar to God on the threshing floor of a guy named Araunah the Jebusite. Araunah, possessing perhaps the only obscure Biblical name none of my friends have used for their kids, offers to give David the threshing floor for free. David’s response is instant and unfortunate:
“No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”
It’s unfortunate because it convicts me about the personal costs associated with my offering. When I give a tiny portion of the money that God has given my family to help those kids in Africa, I am not giving something that costs me much. For me to give them time, for me to not go jogging one night because the African kids are going to get that hour instead of me, or for me to use one of “my” Friday nights to write six letters and pray about each of them, that costs me something.
Which is why that’s what we did last week. I wrote them letters. It cost me an hour and I felt that cost, but I can’t keep offering things that cost me nothing.
And that’s the question today:
Are you offering things that don’t cost you anything?
Comments
One more thought… and I hope it doesn’t get me into trouble, Jon…
I think doing good things is a good thing to do. Sponsoring a child is great because you are investing in the mission program of the organization that is handling your money, and their programs to help people. So, I don’t want to knock the good intention or the good deeds done with that money.
However, soon I will be writing a post on my blog (after my current series) called “Dependency Mission.” These are programs that are oh-so-popular that are simply set up to continuously funnel funds from the US to needy areas. They help meet needs, but they also create dependency. Many times they do NOTHING to help poor people help themselves…other than to teach them that they can’t do anything unless a rich person in America gives them money to do it.
The problem is that many of these organizations (especially those who offer child sponsorship programs) very often advertize by keying on our very desire to “offer something which costs us nothing”.
“For just $20 a month you can feed, clothe and educate a child in Africa.”
“For just $30 a month you can support a native missionary.”
“You can save the lives of 10 kids by giving the same amount you spend on chewing gum in a given week.”
Most people don’t know how to be involved in something in a poor or foreign country, so we sign up for an easy thing to support (like sponsoring a child) and we feel like we’ve done our part in making the world a better or more Christian place. But very few people take the time to educate themselves on dependency issues and how throwing our money around in impoverished places often causes more harm to the kingdom of God than it does good. What is not even a sacrifice to us can be a big temptation to laziness, dependency or corruption on the part of the poor.
Look for those who are doing sustainable projects–either in development or church planting! Stay away from mission agencies that simply form a conduit for US funds to regulary support children, churches or native preachers. Find agencies that are building self-supporting programs in these countries. They are out there if you look.
I think that for some reason, we seem to have the mentality that if there is a problem/need we can just throw money at it and someone else will fix it…
Another thing to remember is that if we give ‘G’ amount of x… soon ‘G’ isn’t going to cost us as much because we have adjusted and it has become normal so we need to increase it to ‘H’ or even ‘J’
Good post!
WV: curit
when the scientists find a cure for something they scream “curit!” in excitement
Ow.
That stung.
In a good way, of course.
((off to find a pen and some paper…))
“Prayer never requires a mixed tape.” HAHAHA! I had no idea prayer was being confused for purple in our churches. Thanks for shedding some light.
Great post, with the usual “Ha Ha Ouch” factor. But surely I’m not the only one to name my son Araunah Jebusite?
wv: horimbal
The noise in my Sunday school room when the kids get out the percussion instruments.
Excellent post. This is why I keep coming back. I love the humor and sarcasm and crazy SFL comments, but that’s not why I keep reading.
This post is why.
It’s called “honesty,” and I think it’s the reason you’re writing a book.
Thanks for sharing what God is doing in you, personally. That has to cost something too.
“If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:3
I definitely see what you are saying JP, but should we measure our love by how much it hurts us to do a loving act. Or how much we sacrifice in the process of “loving” someone?
It seems that Paul is making plain we can do even the most painful and sacrificial acts and still be just as calloused on the inside. We could look like such a “Christ-like” dude, but really have no love in our hearts.
Like I said, I know what you are getting at with your post, so I guess I am just reminded how serious self-examination is.
“Examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith, test yourselves, do you not realize Christ Jesus is living in you? Unless of course you fail the test.” 2 Corinthians 13:5
i never write my compassion child either. every time i get a letter i think to myself. “wow. i am a horrible person.” but i feel like too much of a heathen to write now! i know i should. i will. i even have; it just never makes it to the mailbox. i can even do it online now. i comment on blogs all the time. facebook the day away. spend 10 min. writing a note? hmm. can’t seem to do it. i’m waiting for the lightening bolt to consume me.
God used this post in my life in a HUGE way. Too much to post in a comment. But, thank you!
Jon,
Thanks for the honesty, it means a lot, and I’m sure we all appreciate it greatly.
Oh my word (as BooMama would say).. BooMama just put up this post:http://boomama.net/2009/02/13/one-year-ago/
Read it.. to the end.. and you’ll understand why I commented. Is Troy anywhere out there reading this blog? Cause if so.. I hope he’s writing.
Yea, writing our sponsored kids is hard, making time for them is hard, going to the store to purchase a gift then wrapping it and going back out to the post office to send it is hard. You wanna know what is harder?
Sponsoring them for 5 years, watching them grow up in photos all that time, feeling a niggle in your heart you try to ignore, meeting them half way around the world where the niggle becomes God yelling at you, and then waiting 2 years for the adoption process to be completed.
That’s harder.
And still it doesn’t feel like we have given even a 10th as much as He has given us.
Well, crap. I don’t read your blog for like 4 months, show up ONE DAY, and get convicted.
Koffijah–
I hear your heart and will not judge your character. I will, however, lovingly correct your misperception. The organization that my wife and I support has the following mission statement–”RELEASING children from poverty in Jesus’ Name”. Not–creating dependency on western checkbooks. Not even– creating opportunities for children to hopefully be adopted and saved by moving to America.
Through holistic child development which includes medical, nutritional, socio-economical, educational, social and spiritual development—they are bring taught that they can break the generational and national curses on their family and nation. It IS my support that makes that possible. Furthermore, all of this takes place EXCLUSIVELY through the local church. My letters remind them that they are beautiful. My letters ask them and get them to think about what they want to be when they grow up. My letters let them know that when they look at the moon that there is someone half way across the world that is looking at the same moon who loves them, prays for them and believes in them.
How do I know all of this? I have met them! I gave met their mothers and siblings! I have met their pastor! I have seen it with my eyes. We are not creating dependancy. We are simply giving them a chance. IN JESUS NAME.
So, for all those who believe the way you do. I have a challenge. Keep your money. BUT, request from the organization we support, to be given a child to correspond with. Then write and pray. Then watch how God changes their life and yours. Want more proof? GO. Go with me (Jon can put you in touch) Go with me to see my sponsored children and just how misinformed you were. In the meantime, I’ll keep praying, writing and visiting–all the while seeking a GREATER dependance on God for myself and our sponsored children.
SAW
The first child I sponsored nearly 8 years ago was named Yombikali from the Congo. He had these haunting eyes and the sweetest face and he sent me a letter once that said he loved helping pick yams from the garden his mother grew. And then, a year or so later after I had NEVER WRITTEN HIM, NOT EVEN ONCE, I got a letter from Compassion saying the missonaries had to leave the Congo region because it was too dangerous and they would send me a new Compassion child and to please continue to pray for Yombikali. Thud… like an arrow through my heart and now all I CAN give him are my prayers which I do more often than you might believe but less often than God would like to hear about him. I mean, what else can I do for that poor child who lives in a country so dangerous that even the missionaries are leaving! Talk about too little, too late. This has haunted me for years. I still have his photo.
Will you PRT with me for him now? Father in heaven, please bless this dear child in the Congo who is now a young man. Lord, I pray that he is well and safe and most of all, Father, I pray that he has found his way to You. And if he hasn’t yet, please draw him to you and help him choose to give his life to Jesus and spend eternity with you.In Jesus’s precious name, I pray, Amen.
Let me clarify that prayer is FAR more powerful than any letter I could ever send and has always been a first resort not a last. It’s just the guilt that comes and my broken heart for people who have so little and Americans who swim around in all their shiny excess of who I am surely the worst.
Good reminder. I get email updates from a couple ministries about specific cases of persecuted Christians, accompanied by links that can be used to write them letters of encouragement or write to officials in their home country to help improve their treatment. It’s such a small thing but I almost NEVER do it. I was recently convicted about it, too.
I was reading about a woman in China who was in prison on trumped charges and wasn’t being allowed to see her dying husband of 50+ years and the thought suddenly came to me how I would feel if I was in that situation and fellow Christians with political safety failed to use their clout for me because it was a slight inconvenience. It was like a punch in the gut.
vw: hobblers (I am SO excited to finally get an actual, real word! I’m not even kidding.)