#409. Treating God like Letterman treated Carson.
Sep 25th by JonI recently read an interview with late night television legend David Letterman in Rolling Stone. The entire piece was fascinating, but one section in which Letterman described his relationship with Johnny Carson stood out to me:
“You know, there are people in everyone’s life who you can’t believe you have a relationship with, and you are truly in awe of them, because they are so iconic and so influential that you’re just kind of pretending. You know if you behave the way you really behave, they would recognize that you’re a complete dope and they would never have anything to do with you ever again. That was kind of the way I felt about Johnny. I was so worried that I would say something idiotic and he would just pull me out of his Rolodex. … I never got out from under the feeling that he and I really could be friends because I idolized him and I knew by any measure I would always fall short.”
I thought that was interesting because in many ways, those sentences captured how I sometimes treat my relationship with God. Here, using excerpts from above, is what I mean:
1. “there are people in everyone’s life who you can’t believe you have a relationship with”
When people say that Christianity is weird, they’re right. Faith is weird. The idea of having a personal relationship with the creator of the universe is crazy. That’s a big, wild thing if you think about it and sometimes when I do, I can’t believe I have a relationship with God. But I do and that’s what God wants. A relationship, not a ritual or a reward system.
2. “you are truly in awe of them”
I am. I was reminded of this recently when I was driving up interstate 75 to Nashville. There’s this one ridiculous moment where you cross this river and the mountains are looming over you reminding you how small your big problems really are and the sun was blazing big and bright in a sky I didn’t create and I was in awe. My hope is that someday it won’t take a mountain vista to spark my sense of awe for God but that I will see that more in the people I know and the places I spend my days. But I’m cool with starting with a mountain and working toward seeing the beauty of a cubicle wall.
3. “you’re just kind of pretending”
This is me in college. This is me going through the motions of a relationship. This is me trying to do what I think good Christians are supposed to do. This is me church hopping and bouncing between friendships as I pretend to be deeper than I really am, more connected to God than I really am and happier than I really am.
4. “You know if you behave the way you really behave, they would recognize that you’re a complete dope”
Have you ever dressed up for God? We talked about doing that in college on Sundays when you wanted people to think you had gone to church, but have you ever done that for God? Dressed up some issue? Dressed up some desire that you think is wrong or not true or too big for him to handle or too small for him to care about? The key word in that sentence above is “recognize.” At times, I am equally terrified of being recognized and never being recognized. That if God knew who I really was he wouldn’t love me and if no one knows who I am then I might as well be invisible. But he recognizes me. He created me. He knows me inside and out, the parts that are ugly and the parts that are beautiful and the parts I don’t even know exist yet. And he doesn’t see a dope. He sees a son.
5. “they would never have anything to do with you ever again”
I think that when Christ died, the question “again?” died too. Although I fall repeatedly and feel shame at my weaknesses, God will never see that and reject me by saying, “Again? Again? Again?” I think that when Christ rose, the statement “again!” did too. How many times will God take me back when I fall? “Again! Again! Again!”
6. “I was so worried that I would say something idiotic”
Ever edit yourself for God? Ever spend your entire day talking one way and then talk with a completely different vocabulary when you pray? Why do we do that? Is it reverence? Are we afraid to say something idiotic? I am. And in that fear I often end up babbling and ruining one of the most beautiful parts of prayer, listening.
7. “I knew by any measure I would always fall short”
This is not a possibility when it comes to me and God. This is a promise. I will fall short. I could work as hard as I want to for the rest of my life, say all the prayers one mouth can physically speak and do as much charity as one pair of hands can accomplish. And it would still fall solar systems short of being worthy of God. Thank God he sent Jesus.
Is comparing God to Johnny Carson a great analogy or metaphor? Probably not but on some level every metaphor for God is broken. He’s God. He’s bigger and wilder and more loving than we can even fathom. I’ve said before that the idea of capturing God on a piece of paper is like trying to capture the might of a hurricane with crayons. But sometimes, when you read something interesting in a magazine, you have to at least try to scribble.
Comments
Amazing where we can find our inspiration for things that really go to the core of our relationship with God.
Of course you know you should have pulled out 3 more points and just made a top ten list since it was about something Letterman said.
Wow. You have some really good insight. And probably watch way too much late night tv.
Seriously, though, I am in the hardest darkest part of my life right now and your blog helps me think and laugh when I need it most. Keep it up. God uses the wierdest things to keep us focused on what He has planned for us.
I love finding God hidden in things that seemingly have nothing to do with Him. They key words being “hidden” and “seemingly,” of course, because it seems that he’s in a lot more places than I could have ever dreamed.
Thank you for this post. Once again you have hit the nail on the head.
This gave my goosebumps. I had a revalation something like this last week – I am so in awe of certain people I meet because they’re so big, bad and important. I would drop anything if they called but with God, I pass up time with Him daily. It’s a harsh reality that I treat people with more regard than I do God. Thanks for this post, it’s something I am wresting with and this was so refreshing to me.
What you wrote went straight to my heart. Who do I think I am that I dress up for God? My relationship with Him is at its best when I’m at my most real.
Thanks for helping with that.
thanks “again” for keeping it real, Jon…..
between you and Ron Hutchcraft, I am constantly reminded of how far I’ve come and how far I have to go…..
This was a great post, Jon.
I hope it is okay if I share something with Anonymous 6:23.
My dad used to tell me a saying he learned in Hungary as a boy. “The king is a big man. But he still can’t eat cookies with a shovel.”
I would like to add that God could darn well eat cookies with a shovel if He wanted.
God bless!
Jon thanks for this post today – I have been hearing myself think the “Again? Seriously, again?What’s the matter with you??” a lot lately and I am heartened to remember that as I’m writing this there’s another, bigger voice than mine saying “Again!”
Thanks
I still find myself struggling with being real with God, but when I talk to him like I would a friend, I feel way closer to him. I did this yesterday. I was taking a walk and praying, and I started to pray about something and then I said, “Oh, who do I think I’m kidding God. Here’s the problem…” I think he would probably laugh at me if I tried to pray like someone else. I’m me and I might as well talk like myself, even during prayer.
#3. “you’re kind of just pretending” I called that “playing church” and did it very well for so, so many years. But I always had that hole-in-my-soul feeling.
This past week, in my Bible study, we focused on John 15:16a “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit…”
It just blows my mind that God knows what I’ve done and who I am and he still picked me. Not only did he pick me after I came to Him and cleaned myself up a bit. No, He picked me BEFORE he set the foundations of the earth. (Eph 1:4) Now how cool is that! And, better yet, no more hole-in-the-soul.
We serve a truly awesome God!
Thanks for your posts, Jon.
Did that happen to be Nickajack lake actually on Interstate 24 about 30 miles outside of Chattanooga on the way to Nashville? It is absolutely one of my favorite spots. I would retire there (in about 35 years) if I could. It is truly a display of our Creator’s imagination. Very awe inspiring. Thanks for the mental reminder of God’s greatness.
Great post.. enough said..
@wkb626,
My family is from that part of the country. I had planned on being a family reunion down there this weekend, but things happened and I had to back out a couple weeks ago.
I spent a fair bit of time on lake Nickajack as a kid. I’ve also heard how my mom nearly drowned in the lake when she was a teen and how my dad saved her.
Ahh good times.
great read, when i first read the title, i thought you were talking about Carson Daly. . .glad i was wrong. haha.
Love it.
This post reminds me of The Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning, just in about 200 or so less pages.
What an awesome post.
Thanks for posting this. I feel you’ve touched some things that are alive for all of us. At least I know for sure it is true for me.
Definitely an illustration worth sharing.
"You're just kinda of pretending"
To often I find myself in this category.
Great post Jon. I love David Letterman & I love Jesus even more.
Abby
I,too, wanted to respond to something that Anonymous @6:23 said. I sometimes care more about making time for people instead of putting my relationship with the Lord above all others. If I can chat on the phone, respond to e-mails, read blogs, or drive somewhere to meet w/someone then I can spend that same amount of time (even more) praying, listening & worshipping to the Lord, reading & memorizing verses from the Bible. My relationship with Him doesn't have to be sacrificed b/c I was too busy today. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on all of this.
Point 5 is one an aspect of God that never ceases to amaze me. I can’t imagine having that much forgiveness.
Interestingly enough, I don’t feel this way about God. I feel like I can be myself with God. And even when I fail, I’m usually not that down (at least not down as long as I used to be), because I know that God doesn’t define me by my failures.
However I do treat other Christians like Letterman treated Carson. When I can feel relationships getting closer, I get nervous, because I fear how they’ll respond when they know that I’ve struggled with “big sins” in my life or that I haven’t always been focused on Christ or that I’m simply human. It’s really not a good feeling.
I read the verse about Christ calling us friend last year and it blew me away. I walked around for quite a few days mumbling to people, “I am God’s friend.” They thought I was really weird, but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around that concept. Thanks for this. It spoke to my heart.
Sounds like a sermon… a 7 point sermon. “Today I’m preaching from the first book of Letterman.”
Great job with this. I’m a youth pastor and I may share this with my youth group in some way or fashion. If I don’t, I’m sure parts of it will “come out.”
Thanks!
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