#394. Dressing up for Sunday lunch in college so it looks like you went to church.
Sep 6th by JonIf you live on campus at a Christian college, and you didn’t go to church one Sunday and you want to go to the cafeteria for lunch, you better dress up. You better throw on a pair of khakis or a skirt or something else that doesn’t instantly scream “I am a sleepy heathen.” You wear shorts? People are going to know you didn’t go to church. You wear flip flops? People are going to know you didn’t go to church.
It doesn’t matter if you went to a Saturday night service or are going Sunday night or go to a church where jeans and flip flops are the norm, you’re going to get some looks. And maybe at your school, people have developed highly sensitive “that dude dressed up so it would look like he went to church” radar. What to do then? Fear not. I came up with four new ways to look like you went to church.
1. Carry bulletins with you.
When you reach for a meal in your school cafeteria, casually drop a church bulletin out of your pocket. Act like you’re surprised it’s there, as if you just rushed in from church and forget you even had it with you.
2. Use loads of “church” words and puns.
Everyone knows that on Sundays, the food they serve in college cafeterias is just the food no one ate during the week with a layer of cheese melted over it. Same thing happens at camp. That doesn’t mean you can’t describe it with really silly church words and puns. Say things like, “Our corn is an awesome corn, its grains, are on top of my plate.” Or “I’m not sure I understand the systematic theological implications of sitting on this side of the cafeteria.” People will over hear you, especially judgmental people because they have pretty phenomenal hearing, and will think, “Wow, that lady sure sounds churchy. She must have gone this morning.”
3. Show up in a group.
If you show up to the cafeteria alone, people are going to know you didn’t go to church. That’s why it’s better to arrive in a group. There’s great strength in numbers. Grab a few other friends that are going to the Sunday night service or just went to bedside Baptist. Work out a plan and then show up all together as if you were on your way to a restaurant after church but then remembered the cafeteria is delicious too so instead headed there. Designate a “key carrier,” who can swing a set of car keys around to give the impression there’s a car involved. That adds a nice touch of realism.
4. Wear a guitar.
Forget looking like you went to church, pretend you actually played some music while you were there. Just walk through the line of food, grabbing things on your tray, knocking plates off with your guitar, bumping into people and saying, “whoa, sorry about that, musician here.”
Hopefully those will work for you like they did for friends I had at Samford University. I personally didn’t use these methods when I was there. I was too busy church hopping, but that’s a whole other story.
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you could pretend u had a cold, and couldnt get up to go to church……
The real question is who was more in the wrong: the fake church goers or those who would judge them if they knew they didn’t go to church?
And yes, Baylor was guilty–at least in the early 90s.
Ooooooooohmygoodness that was a fantastic post!
Those judgie cafeteria church nazis drove me nuts. So much so, that I would purposely change into a pair of basketball shorts after church before i made my way to the caf! Wow. i was such a rebel. ha!
I didn’t have to do this until I moved out of my parent’s house and started going to another church. (Lived at home during college.) But when I would meet them for lunch and hadn’t gone to church I would totally do this. Sad that this was just a couple years ago.
Jon, you must tell us about your church hopping! I church-hop, too!
So where is the freedom we have in Christ in all of this? I don’t think He really cares if you make it to every Sunday morning service. And isn’t He the only one we should be concerned about? Being a former Valley Forge Christian College student I rarely went to church on Sundays. They subjected us to what they called Chapel every day. So I did not feel overly compelled to attend church on Sunday’s. That actually was the quietest time to study.
yeah right jon, i know you totally attended Bedside Baptist on a regular basis and dressed up to go to the caf when you rolled out of bed!
the thing is, nowadays you can pretty much wear whatever to church…well at least you can to mine (the nice thing about attending a non-denom church)…so how would anyone know the difference?
but sadly we both attended Samford (which is really just a large high school), where people even dressed up for football games. lame!
Pillow Creek is how I roll…otherwise I’m the one sucking back a Venti Brewed trying to wake up during worship.
Maybe I’m missing something, but this all sounds judgmental to me….
Anonymous, you are missing something. We’re poking fun at ourselves. I don’t think I’ve read one thing on here that resembles judgement.
Maybe some of you are, but for the most part these are sarcastic comments making fun of OTHER people.
i know someone will think this is judgemental (think as you will), but my favorites were the mini-skirts and cleavage that i would see at sunday afternoon brunch…right after church…seriously, do i need to see that much of you? lol
That’s funny. I actually try to dress down to eat after church so the waitresses think maybe we didn’t go and will give us better service. I never went to a christian collage though either.
I went to a Christian College as well and Sunday Lunch was one of the best meals during the week because the President and Donors came to eat… So yes dressing up was mandatory… We always knew who had not gone to church because they would be complaining about having to get dressed to come to lunch! Don’t forget the RA’s standing at the door checking for appropriate dress!!
oh the memories this brought back…I attended a christian college and we had to dress up for Sunday lunch…it was also the only time during the week we actually used real plates and the the plastic ones…but most people would just roll out of bed and throw on some “church” clothes and go to the caf…
funny post
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My university was so convervative that there was actually a science to hiding out in your dorm room so it looked like you were in church when the RA’s came by. And yes, it would have taken much less effort to actually have just gone to church but that really wasn’t the point in our 18-year-old minds!
How early do you have to get up in the morning to plan all that?
i so want an “i am a sleepy heathen” t-shirt. brilliant.
Wow. I never even thought of this one! Thanks for the idea.. even though it’s too late.
we also would make sure we moved our car. especially important if you had a good parking spot. everyone would notice you didn’t get up for church. hilarious.
Oh My!
I had horrible flash-backs to Sunday mornings at Bedside Baptist while attending Bible College in the Seattle Area.
There was a certain procedure to getting the shower, dressed and out to the parking lot so it APPEARED you were arriving back to the dorms after church.
We thought we were being SO sneaky.
Do you hide outside my dorm room on Sunday mornings? Haha.
Although, it could have been one of the other dozen or so of my friends he decide to spend the Lord’s day resting.
ps: I used to dress up in a suit, makes you look more holy.
I always thought the Sunday lunch at Samford was pretty good. It was the only time you got breakfast without getting to the caf during breakfast hours. Speaking of which, did you know they redid the caf and took out that old massive staircase?