#387. Thinking our junk will shock God.
Aug 27th by JonI was caught shoplifting as a teenager on my way to a youth group leader’s meeting.
I’ve lied to almost everyone I’ve ever met.
I watched my skull try to crawl out of my head in the mirror one morning after a night of acid.
And yet, there is nothing I can do that will surprise God.
I used to think there was. I used to think that my junk, much of which is too horrible for that list above, would surprise God. That He would look at it and just recoil at how filthy the whole mess of my life was. That in His white robes and be-sandaled feet and pearly white teeth, He would think I was too dirty for forgiveness. He would look at me and say, “Wow, I didn’t even know that was possible. I mean I thought maybe it was but you found new ways to mess up a life. It’s too much. You’ve gone too far.”
I think that’s one of the hardest parts about failing people we care about. It hurts to shatter someone’s expectation of who we are, to surprise them. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever done something or said something and watched someone’s view of you completely and possibly irrevocably change? They look at you and essentially say, “I didn’t think you were capable of that. I’m just so surprised you would do that. That’s not the Susan I know. I don’t really know who you are anymore.”
I used to think God was like that, but a few months ago, I wrote about something that makes me think I might be wrong. In John 8, we see the scene where the Pharisees bring a woman who was caught having adultery to Christ and say that according to the Law, they should stone her.
It’s a climatic scene. You get the sense that the religious leaders are just foaming at the mouth in judgmental excitement. Finally, they have backed Jesus into a corner. This was it, the trap was about to be sprung.
And the woman, the poor woman was just trembling there exposed. The bible says she was “caught” and you can’t help but think she was dragged from a bed in a clutter of screams and yells with little clothing on. She’s standing there vulnerable, waiting to learn if she will be stoned to death in a matter of minutes.
And how does Christ react? Is he horrified at her sin? Does he recoil thinking about how she failed, expressing his shock that despite the threat of stoning, people still commit adultery? Does he express his disappointment in the woman or feed off the energy of the crowd?
No.
The bible says:
Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
I heart that. It’s not the point of the story. It’s a minor detail maybe in a piece that is ultimately about forgiveness and hypocrisy, but I can’t ignore Jesus’ reaction to the sickness of our sin.
He plays in the dirt. He draws in the dirt on the ground. And he did it for a while until they kept questioning him and he had to stand up. When he did, he said one sentence and then returned to a seemingly unimportant drawing in the sand.
But I think that was important. I don’t think it’s a quiet detail we’re supposed to skip over quickly. I think it yells love. I think it amplifies the forgiveness he eventually offers the woman. He knew she had sinned. More than that, he later tells her to leave her life of sin because that is how deeply scarred her entire world was. He doesn’t say, “don’t commit sin.” He says “leave your life of sin” because he knows it wasn’t an act that was the issue, it was her entire life. But none of that shocks Jesus. None of that fazes him.
I don’t know what you’ve done. I don’t know how bad or big or recent or how hurtful it was. But regardless of what it was, God’s reaction to you is going to be pretty simple.
He’s going to forgive you.
Comments
oh my GOODNESS!
those first 4 lines were absolutely THE funniest part of my day.
youre great jon.
Just talked about this last night in our ladies study! The point of our study was that Jesus isn’t saying ” i got you out of it this time but don’t ever do that again” rather he is empowering her to leave her life of sin for something better.
I’ve also heard a theory that when Jesus wrote in the dirt it was a reference to the hand of God writing the Ten Commandments; a kind of statement along the lines of ‘ i made the Law i am the master over the Law.’ But yeah who knows.
HALLOOOOO! Back from a self imposed internet fast. I was expecting a sarcastic post, but this one was not disappointing. What I love about Jesus writing in the dirt next to the woman is that He got down to where she was. He didn’t stand over her and proclaim her sins forgiven. He came down to her level and sat with her. If I put myself in her place, my thoughts would be “Here’s someone treating the way I’ve always wanted to be treated but know I don’t even remotely deserve.” That’s grace…
@ katdish…been missing you and your insights. welcome back. was the interweb fast good for your walk?
i’ll have to go read past posts now, if you promise to comment as you catch up w/ jon’s prolific-ness.
again, missed seeing your phosphors. welcome back to SCL family of commenters.
thank you for the reminder Jon.
Have you posted about how Christians love mocking Christian sub-culture?
Cause I think that would be funny?
I still deal with this- we all do. My mentor recently told me that if you think your sins are too much for God, then you think that YOU are bigger than God. Ouch.
I always wondered… how do you catch only one person in the act of adultery?
What if you’re angry with God?
Someone once told me that if you turn your back on God too many times, He will get to a point where He no longer hears you. I think I may be there.
Anonymous 344am: God loves you. No conditions, no expiration date.
And what about the men she was with? Where were they?
Truthfully I get different things from that story everytime I read it and today I’m reminded to be slow to speak. Jesus took time, reflected, perhaps had a talk with God before standing up and addressing the crowd. He did not react out of emotion..which I too way to often!
And what about the men she was with? Where were they?
Truthfully everytime I read this I get something different from it and today I’m reminded to be slow to speak. Jesus took a moment to reflect, maybe even talk with God, before speaking. Something I should learn to do more often!
This was a great post and a good reminder about how much God really loves us, that He’s not shocked at the things we do.
However, I’m been struggling lately with the fact that maybe some people understand God’s love more than I do. I’ve never been caught in adultery. I’ve never done drugs. I don’t know what it’s like to get that low so how could I possibly ever understand the depth of God’s love?
Yes, I have my own struggles and “junk” but compared to testimonies of other people I know, it’s nothing. They understand God’s forgiveness way more than I do. Honestly, I’m a little jealous and sometimes I think I need to experience those things to really know God’s love. Right now, I don’t…
Great post, Jon! Love it! I love this story.
But here’s my problem. In all the bible versions I read this passage has an asterisk. And that asterisk always says something about how the earliest manuscripts doesn’t have this passage.
I love this passage and I quote the “he who is without sin” often. But the question I have is, is this actually an act the Jesus performed? Were these his words? I now hesitate to quote this passage because of that.
I hate asterisks in the Bible.
rebecca – pardon my bluntness, but have you listened to what you are saying? Essentially, you are saying that you want to mess up your life, so you can experience more of God’s grace. That’s like saying, you’re thinking of poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick, because you want to experience eye surgery. I don’t mean to be rude, but the truth is, if all of us were to honestly assess the darkness in our hearts, then we wouldn’t be saying someone else is experiencing more of God’s grace than me. I think we’d all be dumbfounded that God truly would forgive us and be extraordinarily grateful.
@ tim burge
the thinking is that this may not have been part of the original manuscript, which is why your Bible has a notation. However, most scholars believe that this was an actual event that was added later. Don’t be afraid to use it to express God’s profound love.
Wow, Jon. Just wow.
Great post. I’ll be linking it on my blog, and back to read more.
Today my local newspaper announced that one of our local preachers has, offended over the way some in the church rail against and harshly judge homosexuals, developed a seminar on why homosexual behavior is not sin, but perfectly fine. I thought of him after reading your post. He believes he has seen Pharisees, and instead of drawing in the dirt, he has told the sinner there never was any sin. Instead of “Go and sin no more” it’s “Go and sin some more.” Dangerous territory…just as bad as being a Pharisee, I’m afraid. I pray he’ll see the light.
In the future, I’ll remember our Lord writing in the dirt any time I think of my sin or anyone else’s. His mercy is so wonderful.
Hi,
I’ve found your blog recently, via Marko @ Youth Specialties’ blog.
Mike Yaconelli once showed me (and several thousand other people) Jesus’ tenderness towards this woman. When she was dragged in, all eyes would have been on her, filled with hate and condemnation. Imagine being at the receiving end of those stares, that hatred. In a moment Jesus took the focus off her. “What’s he writing?”, “What’s he up to?”, etc. Suddenly all eyes were on Jesus, and they never looked back. Jesus’ words then turned their eyes in on themselves, and they left. There is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. What a tender, loving, yet uncompromising saviour.
Thanks for the blog.
Great post and testimony. Reminds me of that old hymn, ‘I Must Tell Jesus.’ Check it out.
This is a great post. Had me hooked from the very beginning, because I recognized myself there. I alwasy liked Jesus drawing in the dirt because it did take the focus off the woman, made the impression that that was not the important part, and also, maybe showing us this: Maybe he was writing the sins of the Pharisees in the sand, but then erasing them. Sand blows away, like our sin does with God’s mercy. It took a long time for me to accept that God’s mercy extended to even a sinner like me. I felt like my junk was too much, and it kept me out of the circle. One Easter Sunday, I realized that Jesus died for me, too, and it changed my faith.
This post was timely because I had been writing on my blog a piece about people I let down who still kept their faith in me. That is how God is, and his mercy, his grace, overwhelms me.
Thank you.
Annonymos @ 3:44
i think the person who told you that has it a bit mixed up.
There is an aspect that i find in scripture where Sin hardens your heart to hearing God’s voice. the less you hear god’s voice, the less likely you are to follow God’s word.
As i understand it, the break in communication is on the sinners end, not Gods. God has been continuously and directly interacting with humanity for atleast 4000 years… and has boundless love, mercy, and patience.
I’m a journalist. There are times when grammar and spelling matter, and there are times when they don’t.
Thank you for this post. It ministered to me.
Lately I’ve really been buying the lie that God’s “forgiveness meter” has run out on me. I mean, how could he even look at ME?! So I started praying for a good slap in the face. Something to show me just how wrong I was.
Thanks for the answered prayer.
[**side hugs to Jon and everyone who left those amazing comments**]
Was going to go anon for this but changed mind.
I’ve done some things that are ‘shocking’ in the sense of the world. Walked a path that was evil, with all the bells and whistles.
I thought I’d resolved it all but thoughts of having to explain my history to my future wife is terrifying (it’s *not* pleasant at all).
God still wants to talk to me. That’s after 4 years of trying to fix it myself by aligning myself with feminist values and studying social work.
And the idea that God still wants to talk to me is the most exciting/confusing/depressing thing going at the moment.
Am amazed that all these old posts seem to be ‘speaking’ to be me at the moment.:)
Coming from someone who just did this recently….I posted a reply before reading your too but telling my husband about my past was the most painful but mos healing thing I’ve ever done. I would never take back telling him all the aweful details he asked for. Of course I wish I’d never had to do everythig to myself that I did, it’s my story and I can’t change it. We’ve been going to counseling for the last year to put things in perspective but I feel amazing inside. These kind of blogs still well up tears in my eyes but it’s gratitude for what God has done for me- forgiveness primarily but all the amazing side affects of not being isolated with my secrets
[...] adventures of a nomad spiff unplugged « my own personal wilderness SCL #387 October 7, 2009 SCL #387 Thinking our junk will shock God. [...]
I could have been balling through this post except that i’m sitting on the floor in my kids bedroom while they play around me. I never thought I was a person who stuffed anything away but I realized last year that I was and so when I finally came out with my “junk” from the past to my husband, friends and then to our counselor- I finally had the oppotunity to heal from it. Part of what helped was never knowing before how many people had the same story as I. But it’s pretty sneaky how Satan uses that to keep us isolated. I’ve never felt closer to God than I do now that I cleaned out the closet. God knew all along.