Jesus on a dinosaur. Wait, what?
Jun 19th by Jon
My friend, John W, sent me this the other day. I’m sure it’s traveled around the World Interweb for a while. It’s allegedly from the “Beginner’s Bible Coloring Book.” It’s hard to tell if it’s real, but there’s no question about whether it is awesome. Here are my favorite things about this picture:
1. The text reads, “Even though we know dinosaurs survived the flood (on Noah’s Ark) we don’t know if Jesus ever rode them. But He probably did!”
2. The colors they suggest you use to fill in the page are things like “Leviathan Green” and “Rapturous Red.”
3. The dinosaur kind of looks like he is yelling, as if Jesus had just said “Hi ho Rextacular!”
4. Let’s say Jesus did ride dinosaurs, what would he have named them? I mean would they be faith based names like “Loveodactyl” and “Fellowshipasaurus?”
5. Do you think the disciples had to ride less cool dinosaurs? Did Simon Peter ride the slower moving Triceratops for instance?
Is it real? I don’t really care. It’s real cool and if my wife let me get a tattoo this would probably be it. But only if I could figure out a way to work Storm Shadow from GI Joe into the picture.
Comments
flesh of christ is a color? And what makes yellow qualify as omnipotent?
If you’re going to get a tattoo, replace the dinosaur with BattleCat (from He-Man).
I’m pretty sure Jesus used a lightsaber too.
Jon, I would love to see you and the artist of this pic have a debate. Check out his caption for the pic…
http://flickr.com/photos/bar-art/414998399/
I envision many dropkicks from each camp, followed by a side hug from the victorious Mr. Acuff.
That is undeniably awesome! I would also like to point out that a saddled-up T. Rex was the first century equivalent of a Rolls Royce.
this might be off topic, but there’s tons of jesus stuff out there, such as this website below. the dinosaur one is pretty cool. though.
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/
I officially know the first thing Jesus and I are going to do when I get to Heaven! Woo!
i completely agree with jeremyw. he-man was perhaps the one of the best 80′s cartoons ever. in fact, when i was four, i jumped off my top bunk in imitation of he-man. Jesus riding the BattleCat, now what tattoo could possibly be more awe-inspiring and provoking the fear of God than that?
So this post is awesome! Jesus on a dinosaur. The only way you could make Jesus OR dinosaurs cooler would be to put them together.
I feel I must point out though that the dinosaur is not a T-Rex. The claws are a dead givaway. The T-Rex only has two. My money would go with the smaller, three-clawed Allosaurus. The cool thing is, I only know this because I’ve been corrected by my six year-old daughter.
gk- went to the flickr site, and in the comments found the best thing ever- a dinosaur should be referred to as a “Jesus horse”.
this would be a ROCKING tattoo! If only my husband didn’t hate tattoos…
Whaaaa?! (channeling Professor Farnsworth from “Futurama”). This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen. But I do have to agree that Battlecat would be pretty sweet. And who ever said the dinosaurs survived the Flood? I’m pretty sure they’d sink the Ark.
Flesh of Christ? why don’t I have that crayon?
i’m curious . . . why do you think the disciples would have to ride the slower dinosaurs? in order to let their Lord ride ahead of the pack? or because they’re to be our models for self-sacrifice?
In reference to number 4…
I think that Jesus was a simpler man than all of this. He probably just called them all “Bob”.
Jeremyw–Jesus on a BattleCat… Awesome!!
Jon– While Jesus rides a T-Rex, Storm Shadow would probably ride a Raptor. He’s the kind of guy who could tame one.
when they come out with the next “Land Before Time” movie (I think they are up to #17) Jesus and this dinosaur can fight off the evil Sharp Tooth!
Israelite Indigo was already a taken so they had to go with the always popular Behemoth Blue.
If this is the “Beginner’s Bible Coloring Book” I can only imagine the content of the “Expert’s Bible Coloring Book.”
This picture is awesome!
We were discussing it yesterday at http://www.backporchconfessions.com
Too funny…
That’s too small to be a T-rex. It’s probably an Allosaurus.
As a doctor of awesomeness, I approve of this post. I am especially fond of the phrase, “Jesus Horse.”
Hi, ho, Rextacular.
Hilarious commentary, loved the questions.
Seriously, for a moment. I can’t believe anyone would publish this stuff. The picture, yes. It is great. But the text?
Things I love about this:
1)Jesus has a cape.
2)Jesus is riding the t-rex/allosaurus/raptor bareback
3)Dinosaur bridles were evidently readily available in first-century Palestine
What do you think Jesus did with His ‘saur while he was preaching? Since dinosaurs clearly survived until Jesus’ time (unclear what happened after that) there must have been a provision for this. Leviathan parking? Valet-o-sauruses? (Or is it Valet-o-saurii?) Actually, knowing Jesus, He would probably have parked His own ‘saur.
Also why aren’t there more parables involving dinosaurs? Since He “probably” rode them around, you would think they would make an easy and impressive visual prop. I for one am curious about the ways in which the Kingdom of Heaven is like a 3-ton carnivorous reptile. Mustard seeds. Pphhhhbbb.
I’m always inspired by haiku. Here’s one for this post:
Mighty dinosaur
You look really fun to ride
What Would Jesus Do?
I find nothing rapturous about that red.
While I agree that Jesus probably did in fact have a lightsaber, I am pretty confident that His T-Rex could also shoot laser beams from his eyes.
This is my favorit post ever!!!
Have you, perchance, seen “Things Creationists Hate”?
http://www.skepticreport.com/creationism/thingscreationistshate.htm
I put this same picture in the SCL Facebook Group earlier today before I even read this posts….funny
That reminds me of He-Man with Battlecat.
Maybe there is a need for a “Battle-Damage” Toy line for Jesus.
I smell a new nursery mural!
Don’t scientist believe that dinosaurs existed before people?
I’d like a robe in Sanctified Salmon, please.
“I’m pretty sure Jesus used a lightsaber too.”
Now THAT’S a tattoo worth getting!
I think Jesus used Garnier Fructis holding spritz. Look how every hair remains in place despite the wind and waves! I just have one thing to say to Jesus:
You Betta Work!!!
Behold, He comes…
riding on the Rex,
Shining like the Son
At the trumpet sound…
Couldn’t resist…
I’ll tell you what really chaps my hide about this picture… Jesus’ hair is clearly an orange, along with his sandals and the dino’s reigns. Maybe you’re supposed to mix red and yellow for those items? I don’t think so!
Darn, I was hoping it was an entry for the bulletin contest at first glance of the picture. I’m pretty sure they would have won. It’s BRILLIANT! I’m inspired to make up things that Jesus never did and illustrate them. Like Jesus bowling. That might be fun. Maybe Jesus invented bowling.
so, when he rode in on the dinosaur, did the town’s people throw down small furry animals instead of palm branches?
um yeah, it’s obviously sarcastic – the “He probably did.” shows that it’s scarcastic, along with the colors. I mean, I know I’m not being funny, but it’s clearly some people lampooning Christians, not weirdo Christians – it’s really an insult (not that I don’t deserve it).
This apparently puts Jesus on earth during the same time period as Fred Flintstone. Wonder if he was one of the 72 sent out without purse or tunic?
As someone who fights fervently against the notion that Christians are stupid, I would have found this a lot funnier if I hadn’t died a little inside when I saw it. Though I will say that it is visually spectacular.
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FOSSIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow…is there anything more epic than this??
I should really stop reading this blog in places where it's awkward to suddenly burst out laughing…people will only be fooled by fake coughing for so long.
I so want this coloring book.