#280. True Love Waits
Jun 7th by Jon
Not having sex before marriage is one of our favorite things to do. Seriously, next to Frisbee and Amy Grant before we got mad at her, waiting until we are married is top of our list. Heck, I’ve written about abstinence and promise/purity rings. But somehow a ton of people are still doing, well, “it.”
I think part of the reason is that we do a really weird job of selling the concept of virginity. I am of course talking about the cornucopia of true love waits products.
Now before I say anything else, I have to cut the guys and girls behind the concept some slack. At this point I imagine they’ve sold the franchise and someone else is making all the decisions on what to slap a “true love waits” logo on. Or even worse, like the bootleg Calvin and Hobbes stickers you see on cars, someone stole the brand and is creating grossness. Regardless of how it happened though, it has happened and someone needs to say something. What am I talking about? The true love waits sweatpants.
If you have not purchased a pair from Kmart, please let me give you the actual product description from their website:
Whether she is lounging around the house, going to practice, or doing her chores. These soft athletic style crop pants will keep her comfy. Perfect for wearing with her favorite sweatshirt or tee. These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that “True Love Waits” in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants.
* Drawstring waist
* Bold abstinence screen print
* Drawstring waist
* Bold abstinence screen print
As you can imagine, this product left me with many, many questions:
1. Isn’t it odd that this girl they mention only does three things and all three of them are productive, wholesome activities? Her options are staying at home, practicing an unnamed sport or doing chores. She sounds kind of boring. They should have said, “Whether she is reading the Old Testament, studying the New Testament or reading both…”
2. How come my pants have never “boldly proclaimed” anything? Honestly, most of the time I think they proclaim, like the map character from Dora the Explorer, “I’m the pants, I’m the pants, I’m the pants, I’m the pants!” I must have lazy clothes.
3. Why would you ever write a holy sounding message on the booty part of a girl’s pair of pants? Click on the photo and you’ll see that’s exactly what they did. Seriously. One of the rules my daughters will live by is “the butt is not a billboard.” It’s simple, but kind of catchy. This seems a little crazy to me. If I were going to tell people to wait on sex, I would not draw the teenage eye to the butt by putting my message on a cheek canvas. (I could not resist that one despite it’s complete lack of funny.) I would put the message on the ankle. No one will have inappropriate thoughts about an ankle. Promise.
4. Am I the only one that thinks it is a little weird that one of the features, listed after the drawstring waist, is the “bold abstinence screen print?” Is that a setting at the sweatpants sweatshop? “Hey Mike, turn off the bold sexy screen print and crank up the bold abstinence screen print. We need to make a new batch of pants for Kmart.
I like the idea behind the whole “True Love Waits” campaign. It’s a message I will discuss with my daughters at some point. Is it something that has helped people? Yes. Would I put that message on a teenager’s rear end? Probably not.
Update:
Kmart, in an effort to not offend anyone released a ridiculous statement about how the pants aren’t really about abstinence at all, despite listing one of the features as “bold abstinence screen print.” This is something that azcentral reported concerning the sweatpants:
A spokeswoman for Sears Holdings Corp., which owns Kmart, told The Buzz the pants have absolutely nothing to do with taking any kind of position, either way, on abstinence. “It was not associated with any group or any cause,” said Amy Dimond. “It was just a graphic put on the pants.”
Piper & Blue, Kmart’s private label brand, designed the sweatpants as part of its summer collection that hit stores in late April.
Although the pants were not designed to make a statement, Dimond admitted that “there may be some (customers) who made the (abstinence association), but it was not the intention.”
Dimond added that the sweatpants are going on markdown and a lot of the inventory has already sold through.
p.s. Big thank you to Ashleigh for telling me about these awesome pants.
Comments
You’re just assuming there’s no ankle lusters out there. And that offends me. Not that I’m one of them or anything. Cuz I’m not.
“If I were going to tell people to wait on sex, I would not draw the teenage eye to the butt by putting my message on a cheek canvas.”
I don’t think the writing draws the teenage eye to the butt. I think the eye was already there so the creators were like we might as well put it there. Actually, we might as well put it there because that dude is not going to look anywhere but here anyway. Might as well minister.
Baloney! The printing across the butt causes the eyes to STAY there. If there's no writing, the eyes DON'T stay. Believe me, I know….
Thanks for the shot out to azcentral! That’s who I work for! Well, when I’m not reading this blog.
I lived in Arizona for 32 years so I still read azcentral! (Live in Colorado now…)
“One thing I’ve found out, if it exists, we can have sexual thoughts about it.”
Let the church say AMEN!
“Drawstring? Doesn’t that make these pants too easy to remove? I’m just saying.”
Especially if they’re like half of my basketball shorts where the drawstring just falls out and never gets replaced.
David, Gwen Stefani already has a line called L.A.M.B. and I doubt Jesus has anything to do with it.
True love waits … but it stares in the meantime.
“my best friend’s mom is a teacher, and she told me that she saw a pregnant girl wearing a “true love waits” shirt at school a few weeks ago. sadly, she was in the “slow track” class, and none of her peers saw the irony.”
I see no irony. Homegirl was like, It wasn’t love. Just sex.
A couple years ago I filled in for a church in a nearby community (a small town church with maybe 20 people). There was this girl that was maybe 12 or 13 and she had a sweatshirt on that said HANDS OFF!! in a very large font, and had 2 hand prints right on her chest.
I understand trying to get a message across, but dont draw attention to the areas!
Obviously you haven’t kept up with Victorian fashion sense – or with Islamic standards of modesty! In both, the “well turned ankle” is a big turn-on…so maybe that’s not a good place for an abstinence message, either!
I know, I know – you can’t make ANYBODY happy, can you?
As the mother of a 2 year old, I’m rolling at your Dora reference.
“there may be some (customers) who made the (abstinence association), but it was not the intention.”
roflmao @ political correctness. this is literally insane.
Well…I don’t find it totally inconceivable that in a board room or design room somewhere there was a group of people assembled who had never heard of “true love waits.” In fact…I find it very likely that it might happen. And…that some other person in the world would come up with this particular “saying” as to represent something totally different than abstinence..maybe just…waiting?!
I’m just saying
Used to work at [Insert Name of Big Christian Bookstore]‘s corporate offices. A friend of mine worked with the blurbs for the store catalogue.
i will always remember the day he said to me, “Surely i am not the only man to have noticed that the ‘Taste and see’ (as in Taste and see that the Lord is good)t-shirt has that written across a girl’s chest!”
*shakes her head* Come on, people!
I’m really shocked that the word oogle hasn’t been used here. It’s a good word, very descriptive of the situation, and I just felt it needed to be said. So…
oogle.
Shouldn't that have been "ogle?"
Wow, old post but, you should be aware that at one time the ankle WAS shocking 100 years ago and still is in some countries!!!
First thing that stood out to me about this post was the fact you actually noticed the somewhat sexist idea that stereotypes girls (particularly good chaste Christian girls) as boring house-bound maids in training.
Thank you for the attention paid to the small things that plague us still.
sadly…
i have these pants 0.o
they were a Christmas present from my mother, who has no clue what the phrase means. anytime i wear them, i make sure to wear a long shirt to cover it up. not that im embarrassed to say that im waiting for marriage…i just dont want some creep staring at my butt! this definitely puts things into perspective.
I hope you do better than to teach your daughters that True Love Waits.
Sexual purity is not about abstinence, and that is where the church fails.
“The butt is not a billboard.”
I love this phrase so much I may have to have it printed on a pair of pants….
Jessica Rogers
Owner, Sakura Rose Boutique
http://www.sakurarose.com
GooD job!
I would love to wear these pants! hahaha….
Wait, do they make these for guys? I don’t understand why there’s such a focus on girls waiting when it’s guys who stereotypically don’t wait. Shouldn’t we make them the focus of the campaign?
True Love waits, but I retain the right to make you salivate.
Oh yes, because "true love waits" means something other than waiting for marriage, right? K Mart is stupid.
I totally misplaced my TLW ring at some point in high school…not because I broke my non-sex-vow, but because I just lose stuff.