#271. Being afraid to use our gifts.
Jun 3rd by JonI saw Maya Angelou one time on TV. (If the question is, “were you watching the Martha Stewart show?” The answer is sadly enough, “yes.”) Angelou is perhaps America’s most treasured living poet and is known the world over for her ability to write and speak.
What was interesting about the short interview was that at one point in her life Angelou did not speak. In fact, from the ages of 7-13, she was a voluntary mute. Not a word escaped her lips, even when an elementary teacher tried to slap her face hard enough to make her speak. You see, Angelou was molested as a child. When the man passed away, she thought she had killed him with her voice. So from that point on she did not speak.
There are probably a million good ideas within the sadness of this tale but the one that struck me most was the lesson about gifts. Angelou’s strongest passion, the thing she would call her reason to be, is her words. She is a public speaker, an orator that has moved presidents and even nations at times. And yet for six years she did not share a single word.
Her gift was stolen. Perhaps only temporarily, but it was stolen nonetheless. Maybe you’ve got a gift too that has been stolen. I think that happens more than we like to admit. Maybe there’s some hurt associated with that gift. You’re a musician that could never please your father so you gave up the piano. An artist whose work caused pain somehow so you gave up the paint brushes. I don’t know how it happened to you, but because I write this blog, I’ll tell you how it happened to me.
I used to use my words to interact with girls online. I used to post funny things, or insightful things in hopes that my approval addiction would get fed in some way. I even started sending out long, bibly emails to friends from church in hopes that they would tell me how holy I was. I misappropriated my greatest gift in a selfish desire to feed my massive ego and numb my wounds.
After a while, I realized what I was doing and decided to never do that again. The easiest way was to simply stop writing. The way I could control it in my own power was to quit writing. I might have scribbled in a journal, but the swirling and twisting storm of words that seethed inside remained silent. My gift was stolen. There were too many thorn bushes planted by my one talent. I didn’t want to be anywhere near it.
I eventually couldn’t contain it any longer. The words inside me felt like soldiers dying inside a submarine that was running out of air. I asked God if I could write again. I asked him if he was cool with me writing, given my less than proud past. The answer was not what I expected. It was actually pretty simple. I felt like he said, “Do you know what I do when you write? I sing.”
That’s the truth. I think we know that when we use our gift to hurt ourselves or others we understand that satan is winning. (I just gave him the middle finger of grammar by lower casing the s!) But I think satan wins too when we refuse to use our gift at all. He loves to attack our gifts that matter most, the most. And when we lock them tightly in a chest under our bed, he wins.
So here’s my blog. And there’s your gift, waiting to be used. Don’t let it be stolen. You might have damaged it and bruised it in the past. Someone close to you may have tried to snuff it out.
But it’s there. Tired of being silent, desperate to sing.
Comments
Wow, what a perfect post! I have been thinking about what truly makes me happy. And it would be using my gift! So thank you for coming back to your gift!
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I love it. I love teaching music and visual arts and seeing the kids come into their own. I love seeing people walk into their gifting and develop their talents. Almost always there's a dark side where they can be used for evil. I had to learn when I was doing media and basically manipulating people for a living that I needed to not abuse that. But I know that God loves it when we are free to express ourselves…See part two….
part 2…
I love this translation of this scripture:
The eternal, self existent God,
the God who is three in One,
He who dwells in the center of your being
is a powerful, valiant Warrior,
He has come to set you free,
to keep you safe and to bring you victory.
He is cheered and He beams with exceeding joy
and takes pleasure in your presence.
He has engraved a place for Himself in you,
and there He quietly rests
in His love and affection for you.
He cannot contain Himself at the thought of you.
And with the greatest of joy,
He spins around wildly in anticipation over you.
And He has placed you above all other creations
and in the highest place in His priorities.
In fact He shouts and sings in triumph,
joyfully proclaiming the gladness of His heart
in a song of rejoicing, all because of you.
Zephaniah 3:17
Translation by Dennis Jernigan
Very thought-provoking post…I'm curious what led you to begin your blog and write your book. Did you pursue your audience or did your audience pursue you? I've come across quite a few people in my life who claim to have the gift of writing, but in my opinion, very few do. I have never said anything to discourage them because my opinion doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things. But since I have also been told that I have a gift for writing, it puzzles me to watch various approaches. Some walk through doors that appear as though God is opening, and then others forge ahead, telling everyone how gifted they are and trying to create their own way into publishing, and then give a little shout out to God in the end. It's also interesting to see how some just want to be published as the final seal of authenticity while others just want to be faithful to say what God has put in their hearts no matter what the outcome. Have you posted anything else related to the writing process or these issues? BTW, I guess it's obvious from that last sentence that I am one of those "just" pray-ers! Your book definitely reminds me not to take myself too seriously!
Thank you for this post! I have loved to write since from the time I was able to hold a pencil. God has put this desire to write and write mostly devotional type things or articles on subjects or my convictions. I have to admit that I want others to read my writings because I know NOW that when I am reading my bible and digging deeper and a phrase flashes across my mind and I jot it down so I don't forget to go back later and develop that thought it is from God. I love to write, it gives me satisfaction in my soul. I am not the "greatest" writer or blogger on this here planet but so what. He didn't ask me to be the "greatest" he just gave me a gift for words and a love for His word and said now write.
God bless,
Renee Peebles
There was nothing more on earth that I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing.
I love to write and I love to sing. Singing is the largest passion, or calling, and writing falls slightly under that. I, too, used to write in hopes of finding others like me to get them to like me… and when no one commented on my best work or had nothing better to say than "That's really good." I felt like I had failed. That there was no use in writing if no one was going to read it or understand it. I too stopped writing for the public eye for a while.
But then I realized that I shouldn't stop doing what I loved just because of others. That I shouldn't be discouraged out of my gift when no one seemed to appreciate it.
I wrote a short story a long time ago about singing. It combines the two things that drive me the most…
The story was about a girl who shows up to perform at an audition in hopes of pleasing the judges and the audience. She sings her own song but then changes it around because she feels the crowd doesn't get it and doesn't like it. Then once she realizes what she's done she fails and everyone that before loved her sound walks away, literally leaving her behind. There's a huge supernatural twist and the friend that convinced her to do things the judges' way shows up and becomes an evil spirit. A struggle happens and God shows up too. He hands the girl the microphone and tells her, "Just sing. I came to hear you sing."
I know that was long, but I was immediately reminded of it when I read this… Your song is your gift in my story's case. And in this blog's case your gift makes God sing…
When he sings, he wants you to sing.
Thanks for writing this!
i just love this blog… it always moves me to tears or laughter… or both… I am definitely encouraged
[...] #271. Being afraid to use our gifts. « Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff Posted: June 24, 2010 by sabepa in blogging, faith 0 #271. Being afraid to use our gifts. « Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff. [...]
So *TRUE!* It makes me sad to think of how many Christians were amazing at something, but stopped when they began following God (or later) because "I loved it more than God." or something to that effect. one example: my father-in-law was a pro ball player who quit when he became a believer. The response in my mind whenever I hear these things is, "Maybe you loved it so much because God gave you that passion. Maybe you were doing what he created you to do."
Anyway. so good. thanks for sharing
right on, jon. write on.
Thanks Jon. This touched my heart.
i hate it when people assume everyone has "a gift". I don't. and don't tell me everyone does, bc i don't.
laughed and cried. as usual; God speaks through you to me and many others. Just realized the ugliness that stole my gift doesn't hold the power it used to. thank you for being a part of my healing.
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Just saw this post via Google Buzz. I'm an affirmation whore myself, and I completely relate to what you write. From what I've learned about myself and God over the last 15 years, it's not possible to be 100% pure in anything I do on this side of eternity. What's cool is that God covers my shortfall! That's why He sings when we use our gifts from a position of humility, trusting the He will use our meager offerings to glorify His name.
Just found your site today. Thank Relevant and its emails. I was immediately hooked by your snarky voice and more.
I struggle with my own gifts (writing and singing) and believing in them as something valid and worthy. I regularly swing from "dang I'm good" to "everything I write is crap." Which is why I treasure this quote from Chariots of Fire so much. "[God] also made me fast. And when I run [write, sing], I feel His pleasure."