The Prince song you wrote, hand clapping and the April Recap.
May 1st by JonI wrote 90 new posts in April. That’s a lot to ask people to read, so I came up with a summary. A snapshot of what I think were some of the better moments from the month. Like the Prince song you wrote, the most sacriligious comment you made etc. Please enjoy:
Best rap related comment:
If I had a love offering for every time some guest preacher on youth day told all of us that we needed to check ourselves before we wrickety wrecked ourselves, I could build a new church.
Number of times we were called Pharisees in a comment:
One
Free chapters of book emailed out:
Chapters 1 & 2
Weirdest phrase I hope Christians start saying:
“Get my yoke on.”
Sentence that will get me struck by lightning:
I’d create some interpretative dance show, with Bible verses woven together with T-Pain lyrics, “She hit the flo, Next thing you know. Shawty got low low low low low low low low.”
Most sacriligious comment sent in by a reader:
My wife attended a large fundamentalist college where one of the prerequisites for admission was a “credible” profession of faith. All of the students were required to attend services on campus, in which very often that same alter call would go out week after week.Right before dinner.Only “one more chorus” you say? Well, you certainly got off easy. Within the space of a few weeks, an informal system was put in place where someone would “take one for the team” so to speak, by going forward, so that the service could end in a reasonable amount of time allowing everyone else to get their chow on.
Great ideas sent in by readers:
The search for one more person, holy email addresses, and pray if you feel led.
Number of times a Veggie Tales post incited someone to say I should kill myself: One
Best transformation of the Outkast song “hey ya” into a God song:
My favorite change–instead of “shake it like a polaroid picture,” they said “take it like Paul to the Romans.”
Most “whoa, why so serious” post:
Letting porn win.
Least serious post:
Clapping our hands, a step by step guide to the death of rhythm
Most talked about post:
Refusing to make songs you can slow dance to.
Least talked about post:
Getting your kids beat up.
Best Christian version of the Prince song Raspberry Beret ever created by you:
She wore a Raspberry Tankini
The kind you buy in a Christian bookstore, yeah!
Raspberry tankini,
she wore it downtown
to feed the homeless and poor
Dressed like she was
She had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to know the Lord
By MCab and Anonymous
Thanks for reading in April. I’ve got some fun things planned for May. I still say your comments and ideas are the best part of this site. Thanks for doing both. (As always, suggestions or book requests go to theacuffs@yahoo.com)
Comments
Wow. After that Check Yo Self comment, I can’t help but to imagine Ice Cube (90s Ice Cube, not family movie Ice Cube) in his South Central L.A. accent closing an altar call where all of his homies surrendered their 40 ounces and gats unto the Lord with the chorus of Today Was A Good Day.
So I’m pretty much a big fan of your blog now… I blazed through all 90-something-or-other April posts in record time. ;o)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Sunday School certificate (resplendent with smiling shooting stars) for speed-reading Christian literature that I qualify for now, but I’ll promise to let it go if you keep up the awesome work. *grin*
Blessings!
um, i’m really glad you didn’t take that guy up on his suggestion that you quit writing or kill yourself. either of those things would really bum me out, and i would be negatively triggered every time i saw a veggie tale character.
peace…
thank you for posting
You know what I love more than the hilarity of those ignorant,hate-filled anti-Jon comments? How folks always gang up on whoever says something bad about Jon. Do NOT mess with our Stuff Christians Like!!!!
All I have to say is this… I liked Jon before Jon was cool.
Way back, ol school P-Jon, even before 97secondswithGod. Yup, me and Jon, we go way back.
Back in early December when you were on a roll with a bunch of posts about temptation and The Uphill Escape Route and then Falling Out of Love Actually and THEN The Italian Knife on the Couch… whoa… still have those posts tucked into the back of my bible fanny pack (not really a fanny pack, just a zippered case, but fanny pack is so fun to say). They each came at just the right moment in my life and in my sin.
Thank you for the old stuff, thank you for the new stuff. Thank you for be so open and raw and funny for us. Thank you for being open to God’s whispering and shouting – I like to imagine He smiles when He see you being you, Jon.
Just saw, read, and am now loving on your blog.
May I suggest the Christian phrase I love to hate the most: “grow” used in the sense of “God, please grow me into the person You intend me to be.”
I detest it almost as much as “traveling mercies”.
Alright man, heres the deal. I love your blog. But, “Low” Is not by T-Pain. “Low” is by Flo Rida. Not that I care. I’d rather listen to a dying animal talk fast.
Jacob -
You’re right, but the portion I quoted was written by t-pain.
Jon
Loved the recap. Hope you do that every month.
I so much love this blog. I love the attitude behind it and the humility and honesty. Keep it up.