SCL

Nice SNL reference at the end. I usually have at least one Will Ferrell quote float through my head every day. And wouldn’t some churches already have some sort of snake in that basket?

love the harry carey reference. that SNL skit is hilarious.

hey, that’s an idea for a new post . . . stuff christians like: judging other christians who like SNL.

You would have had to stand up and shout “Thank You Jesus!” last Sunday at my church. We had a garage sale for a mission trip. I put the money we made in the plate…all 500 one dollar bills and rolls of coins. The usher nearly dropped it. I hope it inspired everyone in the rows behind me.

You’re so weird – it’s crazy!!! It’s kind of reassuring to know that I’m not the ONLY person who can have five different trains of thought going on at one time in just barely a blink of an eye—and in church none-the-less! I’m truly convinced I came across this blog simply so I could realize THERE IS NO NORMAL!!!! (I say that in the nicest way possible — ya know “in christian love”)
~Lisa~

Thank GOD that I’m not the only person who’s mind can be thinking a bazillion things at once, in church, WHILE still paying attention to the sermon… that’s very encouraging. And to know that an offering plate takes your mind to something as “out there” as snakes and Nigerian prize e-mails… *sigh* I’m glad I’m not alone.

The church I used to go to didn’t have much of a problem with the whole “looking in the offering basket.” Not that it didn’t happen, actually it did ALOT, but that was because people needed to make change.

You didn’t even bring up buckets vs. bags? Obviously, you’re in a bucket church. I’m a bucket church, too. But we recently merged with a purple-velvet-bag-with-wooden-handles church, and the transition to buckets was hard for them. Not holy enough, I guess. We called their offering bags “the magic bags” because they looked like a magician would pull something out of them. We had to hide them, because the head usher kept trying to use them.

Good times, good times.

You could also talk about The Third Option, which is to never discuss giving from the stage and just have a box at the door as you go out. I’m sure those who are new to church always wonder, what is in the box in the back?

I get paid twice a month, so when the bucket comes by me, I really want to tell everyone that I gave the week before and I only get paid every other week or so.

My wife suggested that we just take our tithe and split it into two checks, so we can give every week, but then that would mean we run out of checks faster.

We are always singing while the offering is being taken, and I always lose my place. It is one of those clapping songs, which is fun for me, and frustrating for those around me. I have the distinct inability to clap and sing simultaneously, which means I BOTH sing the wrong words, in the wrong order, and clap off-beat so poorly that I throw off the adjacent two or three rows.

GOOD TIMES.

I feel so….absolved. I thought I was the only one who secretly hates Wal Mart for their sneaky little credit vs debit mind game they play.

And I need a sticker that says, “Stop looking at me like that. I pay my tithes once a month and write one big check” but that’s kinda long I guess…

I would put a snake in the offering basket this Sunday, but I’m worried what the secret ser-, er, ushers would do to it.

we’ve used at our church……cute baskets, black buckets, “regular” offering plates, KFC buckets…..i’m glad we stopped using the last one, because it made my stomach start growling before the service was over…..

1 – Lil Wayne is not prolific. He just seems like it because so many people out right now are so wack.

2 – I don’t know who the Lil Wayne of Christian authors is, but you’re definitely better than him.

3 – I also think five thoughts at one time in church … while leading worship! Which freaks me out. I’m like, What if I sing the wrong lyrics, because I’m thinking about something else. What if something from 106 & Park slips out. I mean the drummer’s beat DOES sounds kinda similar to video #7.

Wal-Mart, along with most retailers, asks for your PIN first because it is cheaper for them. For every plastic card transaction, the retailer has to pay a fee to someone (their card processor, Visa, etc.) However, the fees are less for PIN-based transactions than credit transactions where you sign for the purchase.

LunarWorld – we still have those velvety bags.

But I always wonder – I wonder what other people are tithing? Do they tithe? If I don’t put money in the basket will they think I’m really unspiritual? Or, oh rubbish I forgot to write my monthly tithe cheque and bring it to church…

I would LOVE it if my church used KFC buckets for offering.

I work at a church. Several years ago, when the concept was newer, we were looking into electronic giving.
The company telling us about it showed us these cards that people could put in the offering plate. The idea is that since the money was coming right out of your bank account you might feel uncomfortable not having anything to put into the offering plate.
My favorite were the ones with the praying hands on it.
(The church went with concept but not the cards).
I kept the sample cards and every once in a while would throw one in the safe to confuse the people who did contributions.

I bury my offering under everyone else’s.

I’ve been to churches that have plates, buckets, baskets, and the velvet-y wooden-handled bags. The bags are less conducive to peeking.

Well, I’ve discovered that they do NOT want you to borrow from it.

Last week I saw somebody make change in the collection plate. It made my month.

I’ve always wondered why churches feel inclined to waste postage mailing me little envelopes for each week’s offering. And they have different offering “funds”, too, so I get eight a month. Add that I’m married now, and we get sixteen little envelopes a month, where we only get paid two or three times a month.

And then when you get to church, they have envelopes there in the pew for you if you forgot yours. Why not just use the ones at the church and stop blowing postage sending eight little envelopes to 5000 people a month?

What a colossal waste of time, money, and resources.

I agree with the sticker thing. I would also like one for the Christmas holidays to wear when I pass by the Salvation Army bucket that says, “I gave at the last bucket I passed.” It would allevite a lot of guilt and not giving at every bucket I see and having people think I am a cheap skate.

I use my banks on-line bill payor to send my offering. Last week we were in a row all by ourselves and had to pass the bag from one usher to another without it even slowing down. I was really wishing for a “web-tither” t-shirt about then.
Perhaps another item for the gift shop?

I totally just did this on Sunday and never realized I always do it.. until now.. after I read your post on this matter…hahah

thanks Jon

Wow, you would be bored at our church. We’re all about breaking traditions and things that have become rituals. Instead of passing a plate, we just have a box in the back of the auditorium that people can drop their tithe into anonymously.

Yay for the SNL quote! Best part of the post, no joke.

For question #3, the answer is "Yes."

“What if I looked down and someone had put a snake in the bucket? Like a rattlesnake or some sort of pit viper? Can you punch a snake in the face? How fast are my hands?” – Ah… still funny.

It's kind of like that scene in Indiana Jones when the guys look into the Ark of the Covenant.

I thought your friends called you whiskers 'cause you were curious like a cat…