#220. The kid crying that makes every kid cry at Sunday School.
May 11th by JonThe other day at Chick-fil-A, some little kid called my four-year old daughter a word that is more commonly used to describe a vital part of the male anatomy. I would tell you the exact word he used, but I once wrote a post about Mario Lopez from the show Saved by the Bell and porn. Before I knew it, people that googled the phrase, “Mario Lopez Porn” were linking to my site. How disappointing that must have been for them. Anyway, when he called my daughter that word, she responded instantly by saying, “That’s not my name. He’s calling me the wrong name.” She saw it as an inaccuracy, not an insult. I saw it as a chance to practice patience, as I really wanted to toss that kid in the deep end of the ball pit.
I didn’t though, society frowns on that kind of thing but as much as I disliked that kid, there’s one kid I dislike even more. I am of course talking about the “cry instigator” at church.
This is the kid that makes every other kid in his Sunday school class start crying. It happens all the time. My two year old daughter McRae is perfectly happy as we walk toward her class. She’s holding Barney’s sidekick Baby Bop (BJ and Riff are weak) and she’s smiling. La la la, off to class we go. But then she sees “sir cries a lot.” I can watch her face change. Suddenly she starts to think, “Why is that boy crying? Does he know something I don’t know? Should I be crying? Is that what we’re doing? What’s going on here? Are they out of goldfish? That’s it, isn’t it? I’m about to enter some sort of goldfishless Gulag. I should cry!”
And then it’s over. Especially since that punk cry instigator always stands at the door, clutching the little gate and blubbering a warning to any happy kids that cross his path.
That kid is the worst.
Comments
What’s worse are the children that hang out at the gate screaming as parents arrive to pick up their kid. As if to say, “Please get me out of here!”
I am that child’s teacher. The only one worse than him is his mom. She is the last one to pick up her kid.
That kid was in my son’s class last week. I said to my husband, “Maybe Jackson will go in there and play with that kid and distract him from his misery.” My husband said to me, “Maybe Jackson will punch that kid in the face and make him shut up.” Also? My husband will never be volunteering in the nursery.
My son is THAT kid.
Try as we might, we can’t convince him that nursery is a cool place to be.
This was my daughter today!! Usually not, but today, on Mother’s Day, she decided to be super-clingy and whiny. Oh, the joys…
Regarding the first paragraph: My son recently called a little girl a word for a female dog on the church playground. No less than 20 parents scornfully tapped me on the shoulder to tell me my son said a bad word. After making him apologize, I left the church in shame for the evening.
Regarding THAT kid, I have to agree with Melanie. He’s always the last to be picked up. I imagine his mom must be the cruelest mom EVER.
i hate that kid too! maybe i shouldn’t say hate… but still… in total agreement and love it love it love it.
you should know i read your “pray if you feel led” prayer post in my bible fellowship class(this is the hip way to say sunday school if you attend my church) … anyway, i read it aloud to my class… whom all enjoyed it immensely. then i launched in as the opener and asked who wanted to be my spiderman, i mean closer… thank goodness for pete!!!
you rock the house down, jon acuff.
O.K. I am the nursery or SS worker with the screaming kid in the classroom. yes, it does make every other kid cry…but, the worse part is the parent. About the time you have let “the screamer” cry it out, they come back in to “politely” check on them and get it all started again! For years I have seen this happen..if you would just let the child cry for a few weeks and not give in to him, then he would figure it out! What do you do at home when he pitches a fit? Give in, I guess…She is the last one to pick up her child, but evidently, she doesn’t want to be with him either. I think that I will just stop refusing to take the child at all, it is a such a disruption to the entire class and all the children!
LOL…sir cries-a-lot!!!
Your daughter’s approach was great. It would have been great if she said, “That’s not my name. My name is ….”
Crying when someone else is crying is kind of good. Like, if your daughter was walking towards the Barbie aisle and saw 20 girls running out of it screaming at the top of their lungs, your daughter is the type that would run and scream too … which is good. Too many other kids would look at the chaos and be like, “What’s wrong? Let me go look at it for myself.” Which usually always ends up bad … at least in horror movies.
This is the second goldfish reference I’ve heard in the last 30 minutes. If I hear one more, I know that’s a sign. Jesus wants me to have some goldfish.
Devout Hypocrite -
Don’t be ashamed. Every parent will eventually have a moment of similar embarrassment.
regarding the people there dissapointed about the “Mario Lopez porn” google search… being in advertising im sure you get how putting those words in the blog (twice) may have effected the top five in the search.. nice.
Advice to Holly: don’t try to convince your son of anything. If he thinks you’re freaked out, how is he ever going to feel safe? Just drop him off, say “I love you, see you in a while,” and leave (and don’t come back to check). If they see a confident parent, they won’t feel a need to freak. Trust me, I’ve been in nursery enough to see this work.
I work with preschoolers at church and my only plea is, lease bring your child back to Sunday school. I get so frustrated with those parents who think, “Oh, he had such a hard time at church today – what with making all the other kids cry. I think we’ll wait another month before we put him through that again.”
They need consistency. They need to know that their Sunday school teachers are those awesome people with the cool puzzles, play-dough, and music making toys that mommy says are too loud. A few straight weeks of church and they will be fine. Just keep coming.
Oh man…dear nursery teachers…I know you are right about just taking them in there, saying, “I’ll see you later” and walking away. But when your 2 year old has to be forceably pried from your arms, tears rolling down her cheeks, begging, “Mommy, don’t leave me!” well…it’s just a LITTLE bit hard. On the other hand, my little gal has suddenly learned how to sit and play quietly through a whole service because it means she doesn’t have to go to the nursery. Oh Lord, help me!
I’m not even going to lie… I Googled “Mario Lopez Porn” to see if you popped up.
You didn’t.
Sassy -
I’m number 21 on the list. I just googled that phrase 15 seconds ago. Here’s hoping I can move up in the rankings with some better SEO
Jon
I really thought you were safe!
And now my husband thinks I’m spending my days trolling the internets for some hott Mario Lopez action! lol!
What?! Little kids don’t do the things you want them to?!
Alert the media!
Seriously, when did kids have to become little adults? So what if they cry? Kids cry. No one’s kid is perfect, people. One day, your kid will be the one doing the embarrassing thing. What will you do then?
Nothing is worse then when we are forced to get the parents from church…and we assume the parent will come into class to calm screaming, choking, crying 2 year old down. But what do they do?? they take Princess back into church! We are portable, in a school, no cry room. So there she is crying, sobbing, yelling, “Mommy, Daddy, Bubby, snack,” etc in the middle of a service. That’s when I just want to throw my pen or coffee cup at the family, as a friendly wake up call of course!
Hello..if your child is disturbing a room full of 2 year olds…do you think she won’t bother a room full of adults?
We used to have this family in our church that would leave the baby in the nursery, and the kid was happy at the outset. But then Dad would stand at the door and wave bye-bye for about 5 minutes, and by the end of that, she was bawling at the top of her lungs. What’s up with that?
I don’t have kids “yet” but I totally understand where you guys are coming from since my wife’s a full-time 2-year old teacher. And Amanda (2nd poster from the top), you’re post made me laugh out loud, literally. Me and your husband would get along very well, lol.
This really has nothing to do with anything you said…but you know who Riff is. That's awesome. My dad calls him the ex-convict…probably something to do with his weird voice, I don't even know. But, yeah.
that cry kid ruins it for everybody (especially the parents)
We had a rambunctious group of boys around my age growing up in church. We ran off at least 3 Sunday school teachers. I think they're still praying for our salvation even today.