#125. The mandatory youth minister goatee.
Apr 8th by JonThis is how I imagine most job interviews going between a church search committee and a potential youth minister:
Search committee member
“Well, so far everything checks out. Your beliefs are the same as ours, you’re smart and the kids seemed to really like you. But there’s something missing.”
Potential youth minister
“Do you need more references? I could get more references.”
Search committee member
“No, I’m going to cut to the chase. It’s your chin. It’s just so bald and boring. The kids in this community need a youth minister with a bit of an edge. Someone that understands them. Someone that speaks their language with the “phat” and the “twittering” and the “i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie, to the hip hip hop, a you don’t stop, the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie.” They need someone relevant and now. Someone … with a goatee.”
Potential youth minister
“I’ll start growing one today.”
Search committee member
“Hired!”
That’s probably not exactly how it happens but the magazine Christianity Today did a survey and 72% of youth ministers in America have goatees. OK, I made that up but it sounded true because chances are yours had one. I don’t think there is any great follicle conspiracy at hand, I just think it’s a really easy way to tell the senior minister and the youth minister apart. Unless your senior minister has one too and in that case you might be going to a church with a name that starts with a lower case “x” or “i” (xPerience, xTra, xTraordinary, iNtouch, iChapel, iSaved etc.) and at that point all bets are off.
p.s. I would grow a goatee if I could. But unfortunately all I can swing are some Ebeneezer Scrooge type mutton chops. And roughly 19 people on the planet find those attractive and 100% of them are not named “my wife.”
(Thanks to all the folks that suggested this one.)
Comments
cracking up.
Hmmmmm. Our senior pastor has a goatee and our youth pastor does not. So what does that mean?
The youth pastor got the senior pastor's goat?
Okay, that was a bad joke. Sorry lol
Ha! My youth group went to a concert (I think DC talk was there), and at one point during the concert they had someone give a message, and he pointed out the goatee thing. And the dorky belt thing. And there’s our youth pastor, totally fitting the stereotype. He could do an awesome Elmo voice though, so he was cool.
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and I have to tell you, you crack me up! I don’t why this goatee thing is true but it SO is!!
how about the bald worship leader? for years he was the bald bass player, then changed instruments.
we have 6 out of 25 current band members with shiny heads. i don’t do math, but that’s a lot.
there used to be a blog called ‘the bald worship leader’, so I know we’re not alone.
cool thing is: we will be doing a blue man group spoof this summer, and not one hair will be harmed in the making of the spoof.
I think another mandatory requirement for a youth pastor is puffy Vans or Airwalks. I’m convinced the only reason Vans or Airwalk still make those puffy, bulky “skate” shoes is for the mass population of Youth Pastors.
I’m very thankful our youth pastor does not have a goatee. Her name is Lisa.
Haha! That is so true. You are awesome.
My friend Jeremy and I have termed this the “youth-pastor patch” because it’s so often alone on the face and right below the soul patch.
Sad thing is, I have yet to meet youth pastor without facial hair.
You are totally cracking me up! We had our first Youth Pastor search meeting tonight. I asked my husband (the senior pastor) share this with the group. They loved it. thanks for sharing.
candy
I am trying not to laugh too loudly because my grandma is watching the Gaither special, and trying to sing along. I love this blog!
LOL… My Pastor is “the Bald Worship Leader” – haha. So flippin true… Nice one.
I’m pretty sure it’s so we can differentiate between the students and the pastor… That being said, I’m a youth pastor, but I sadly like skills in the facial hair department
The youth pastor at my church is goatee-free. However, he almost never wears any shoes other than flip-flops (I’m not hating, though — neither do I!) and often when he’s playing in church, he takes even those off and plays barefoot. Hehe.
It’s a running joke that to be in leadership at our church you have to have a goatee. Our senior pastor, associate pastor, youth pastor, Audio/visual/marketing guy, worship leader (sort of–he just got out of the Air Force and has only grown a soul patch), and two elders (including myself) all have goatees. The only male on staff who doesn’t is our children’s pastor who has a perpetual five o’clock shadow. And our church has neither an “i” or “x” in the name.
Have you ever noticed that in all the Sci-fi shows the duplicate from the evil universe has a goatee too? Is there a connection? hmmmm
I was a youth ministry major in college; female, so no goatee here! However, I’m pretty sure 90% of the male youth majors I graduated with had one. If they didn’t, it was because they had the “chin strap”, the “soul patch”, or couldn’t grow facial hair.
As a youth minister all I have to say, “Guilty as charged!”
LOVING this blog. It makes my day.
Very funny… Good laugh to start off the day!
Both of my youth pastors had goatees and wore puffy airwalks.
when I started in youth ministry I grew a beard. It came in jet black and curly. My hair was (currently balding) straight and brown. I asked a fellow youth pastor and friend what he thought… “It looks like a crotch”
I shaved that afternoon and no chin dressing since.
I was suprised not to see the youth pastor accesories of
frayed visor/frayed ballcap
fliplops
cargo shorts
ever expanding waistlinefrom pizza bashes!
Jack Jophnson Cd
Our senior pastor has a goatee… cross referencing this with your post on forcing community (Welcome to YOUR _____), it only makes sense that our church website is “www.my_churchname.org”
Our church doesn’t start with an “x” or an “i”… but our website starts with “my”.
Go figure.
and roughly 19 people on the planet find those attractive and 100% of them are not named “my wife.” – my fav line from this.
Hey man, you got me, i have a goatee and just hopped on to be the youth pastor at a plant church we are putting in place. You crack me up man! This stuff is funny and so true
My youth pastor grew a goatee for the Christmas cantata we had and kept it for a month, but then he shaved it off. Our church is in the 28%.
I’m not sure which percent I’m in. Anglicans/Episcopalians all sport beards, including me, the youth guy. So I guess I’m a subset of the 72%?
Haha. I was just thinkin about this is Sunday School yesterday… my youth pastor has a goatee… I don’t like it too much.
At a church I used to go to (before I moved away, no big dramas there to cause me to ‘shake off the dust’, *laugh*) our senior minister had a goatee, earring, wore black leather and played the guitar, while our youth worker was clean-shaven, needed glasses, wore suits and was an accountant… They were both brilliant
thanks for the Sugar Hill Gang reference
Yes, the goatee observation is spot on, but bald (shaved head-either forced by mother nature or voluntary) is the new goatee.
Just a heads up (no pun).
I don’t take offense seeing as my goat has been growing as long as I’ve been balding… both happened long before I was called into Youth work… and both happend at the age of 19! Shaved my head at 20 which tends to accompany the goatee trend as well!
In reflection of attending NYWC Pittsburgh 08
1) By in large we do look a lot alike… don’t our students?
2) Trendy Framed glasses are clearly the new thang!
3) As much as I would like to it… is an incredible struggle to take a man older than 25 seriously when he has trendy, died, and styled hair… with fancy specs!
“I was suprised not to see the youth pastor accesories of
frayed visor/frayed ballcap
fliplops
cargo shorts
ever expanding waistlinefrom pizza bashes!
Jack Jophnson Cd”
Okay, I guffawed at this one. One of my good friends back in my youth group days just signed on as the new youth pastor. He has the goatee and all of the above…
Of course, minus the goatee and expanding pizza gut, he’s had them for years.
what about the addition of "cool" t-shirts. You know the ones with crosses or angels on them? The type that normally have skulls on them, but that is too evil for church….the button downs with huge crosses on the back and some form of tribal art stretching down the left shoulder.
looks like my kids drew the short straw when it comes to youth directors. Female, no chin hair (plucked them out this morning) no cargo shorts, and I can't play guitar. I am guessing they just might find Jesus anyways.
My husband is a youth minister–with a goatee. I laughed inside during the whole thing, but that last line made me laugh so loud! Hilarious.
tehe ohhh Charlie Hall has the no bald chin-ed-ness covered.
This is so true but at my church growing up we had no goatee'd ministers. Our youth pastor was bearded though!
Hmmm…I always thought that my youth leaders were abnormal. None of them have a goatee, though Jonathan had a soul patch thing going on for part of last year, and Mark had a beard-thingy last month, but it was really gray, so he just looked old, and I'm now going to stop adding commas to this sentence.;)
dont know about the states, but here in Canada i'd say 78% of youth pastors have shaved their heads
(and of those 44% have goatees).
Our past three youth ministers have been goatee-less. However, our pastor at times sports a goatee. But then again, he rides a Harley. I think it's just a blending of those worlds. I LOVE this blog btw. I missed it so so very much this past month when I was in Puerto Rico.
Beware of a candidate with a beard of bees.