#81. Disguising gossip as a prayer.
Mar 21st by Jon“I have a prayer request I need to share. You know Tim and Nancy? They are having some marital problems right now and need some prayer. Turns out Nancy put a filter on their computer because Tim has been staying up late on the computer. Well after a week of secretly monitoring all his online activity she found pornography on it. So she told Tim and her told her to stay out of his business. And you know their daughter isn’t going to graduate high school. She drinks so much and runs with that goth crowd. She’s a mess, but bless her heart. I think they’re going to go to counseling but money is tight because of Nancy’s shopping habit. Their credit debt is just out of control. I’m really concerned and as a close friend I just want to lift them up in prayer.”
(Thanks go out to Pastor Jeff for the suggestion of this gossip prayer topic.)
Comments
Sometimes people don’t even declare it as a prayer request. I’ve sat listening to people saying things like this AS they pray.
ACK! YES! I can’t STAND this!!!!!!!!!!! It was a HUGE problem at our previous church and i believe a root to many of the issues there…
Bragging through prayer requests is a similar favorite. They go something like this.
“Travel prayers are requested for John & me as we take our 2 week Alaskan cruise.”
“Please pray that everything goes smoothly as we transition into our brand new home.”
“Please pray for Caroline as she decides which of her three college scholarships she should take.”
yep – this is the topic I just suggested to you. My aunt is a perfectionist at this and gets my grandma to fall for it every time!!
LOL!! my sides are hurting from reading this entire blog. i’ve been waiting to find #81, if not, my next step was to email you. z
If I were ranking your list this would be at least in the top 5. Spot on!
Wow, that is simultaneously hilarious and sad. It’s so true.
Oops, I made a comment like this post on your “bless her heart” post.
We call that “Praying them in the back”.
I have another one for you- maybe you already covered this but I am starting at the beginning so I am only to #81.
Putting your baby on a strict feeding schedule because God is a God of order and that is “God’s way” of parenting. Can’t tell you how many times I have heard that one.
To quote Kerri Pomarolli’s grandmother, “It isn’t gossip if your head’s bowed.”
Hence unspoken prayer requests (I’ve already forgotten the number for these – 39?) See, you can’t have it both ways – either it’s unspokens or it’s gossip prayer. Choose wisely, my son.
My mom used to be so guilty of something similar to this … “Dear Lord, please help this family realize that this house needs to stay clean and help us all learn to appreciate each other and help out around the house.” *everyone else rolls eyes*
Guilty!
(sad)
ahhhahahahahhhahaha. i just died.
Yes, so glad you threw this out there, I guess it must happen in all kinds of Christian groups, but I still feel that the women in our church must take the cake. I'm allowed to say this because I'm a women, it's harder for us to fight gossip!
Last week we prayed (from the pulpit) for a former member who would be spending the next two years in the state penitentiary. When we got home my dad looked him up on Uniform Crime Reports because the prayer request was so vague, but shocking enough that I'm sure everyone else did the same thing when they got home. Oy.
ARGH! I hate this! Prayer GOSSIP. T_T And I hate to admit it, but when someone starts going off like that, I stare them down with iced pupils. I can't stand it. -.-
My mother is the QUEEN of this. She used to be head of the church prayer chain which meant anytime someone had a personal problem she knew about it and then spent hours calling down the phone tree to spread the word for the purposes of praying. I know so much about people in our old church that I REALLY shouldn't.
Now she's moved to a very small rural town where everyone is in each other's business all the time anyways so at the least the damage is lessened because everyone would find out eventually anyways. Also now when she tells me people's deep dark secrets I have no idea who they are as opposed to finding out terrible things about people I have to see everyday!
This is probably the funniest one yet. The camp I work at has a rule against doing this with campers.
hilarious and sad at the same time. I just don't see this changing. Too many people do it. People who talk about how bad it is and how they don't do it… stick around. What they mean is that they don't do it with *you*. They do it with other people.
if you read this with a texas accent it makes it way more funny
I think it's funny because the pastor and his wife's names at the church I go to is Tim and Nancy.
I just want you to know that as someone who grew up in the church, this is the most epic site I have come across since… well to be honest probably since "stuff white people like", but that was years ago and I am an internet fiend I tell you, a fiend, my RSS feed requires hours of my time a week to not pile up into the 1000s for unread articles. I like that you're honest and blunt enough but not too cynical. You made my evening.