#66. Eating your body weight in goldfish in Sunday School.
Mar 6th by Jon
Years from now when my kids are older, they’ll probably think of sweet baby Jesus whenever they even smell a goldfish cracker. I’m sure this is a kid thing, not just a Christian thing, but on about 51 Sundays of the year, that’s what they have for snack. And at our church, if your kid cries a ton, before they flash their number on the video screen in the sanctuary asking you to do the “my kid is out of control” walk of shame, they put them in a wagon and stuff them with goldfish. It’s like this little red wagoned parade of wailing in the halls. Eyes streaming tears, mouth full of fish, tiny hands clutching the side of the wagon counting the minutes until a parent can come rescue them. Good times.
Comments
“And at our church, if your kid cries a ton, before they flash their number on the video screen in the sanctuary asking you to do the ‘my kid is out of control’ walk of shame…”
The walk of shame. That’s hilarious.
I read this post aloud to my children, ages 8 and under. We laughed. My 8 yo son gets cut off after 2 dixie cups full. He doesn’t think thats fair. I think my two year old actually pointed to the picture of the goldfish and said “church”. (not really)
Do we go to church together?
At our church they call the wagon the bye bye buggy. It will seat 6 screaming, goldfish spewing toddlers.
My husband won’t touch cheez-it crackers because he ate so many of them growing up in church. He’s traumatized by the smell!
You forgot one more thing we use in Sunday School- foam crafts.
The smell of craft foam and the taste of Rainbow Goldfish. Ahh. Tender Memories.
Man, age segregation starting with nurseries is a huge thing that Christians Like. Very sad. We decided to go to our current church partly because the nursery is un-staffed, which means you go in there with your child to do what you need to do, and you can listen to the service while you’re there. Beautiful!
I used to steal the industrial sized boxes from the puppet closet.
I was forced to touch the youth pastors puppet in the puppet closer
that's…what she said?
^above statement was probably inappropriate and unnecesary, and for that I apologize. I just couldn't help it.
Come on, y’all… animal crackers– THAT’S where it’s at!
Animal crackers and WATER, not even apple juice. That’s what we used to give our kids when I taught Sunday School!q
Our church nursery lives for goldfish. Usually our 2 year old gets to partake readily. But on the unfortunate occasion that she chooses not to eat her dinner, no goldfish for her when we go to our Tuesday night class at church and she goes to the nursery. The nursery staff always ask the obligatory question “is it OK to give her a snack?” And I always feel a twinge of guilt when I think of my poor daughter as the only kid in the nursery who is not stuffing her face with goldfish all evening, just because she didn’t eat her canned green beans and peanut butter sandwich (we eat GOOD at our house!) I guess that’s what they call “tough love”.
I had animal crackers and water and I always thought those two things do NOT go together.
At least we don’t use goldfish for the Lord’s Supper. haha.
A few weeks ago we actually did use goldfish for communion. It was before VBS so they must have been well stocked.
Fish and loaves of bread in one bite… this batch fed about 800, not 5000 though.
Nothing like cramming ours kids full of MSG laden deep fried crackers.
Wow, Goldfish, that's premium!
We had saltines. GROSS!!!
Just the smell gives me the creeps. I look the other way when I pass down the cracker aisle…
the only time I've ever been to a VBS was in downtown Dallas.. every night my parents would drop me off and the only thing I remember was gold fish and lemonade. two things that really don't mix. Five nights in a row… *shiver* I didn't pluck up the courage to eat a goldfish again until 8th grade.
I was scrolling through the archives reading some old posts and when i came to this one at first i thought real goldfish. That was an odd mental picture- someone eating a massive pile of real goldfish
Our musicians and singers… and our pastor here in CA tend to be louder than any kids crying. =o
But seriously, I dunno why, but we hardly get any crying kids during church time.
hahah this is so true! so many goldfish i have smelled in my life at church.
my church actually uses goldfish crackers for communion. They've done it for years.